What a true Olympian is all about

Save your back for the playoffs

 

Live via satellite here is Dan Greenoff from the Waterford Hockey Rink

"Hi this Dan Greenoff.  As you can tell from the picture behind me the snow hasn't melted at the Waterford Gardens.  A 2ft covering hasn't gone anywhere, and it looks very daunting to shovel.  The Monday Night shovel off the rink party has been canceled, and it is recommended to pray, dance, boogie, or bust a move for an intensive rain shower.  

Plus the Waterford Parking Authorities haven't yet plowed the park, so access is impossible.  I flew here in the Googily Gazette Chopper, to obtain these photos.  Also a pack of wild dogs have been living in the abandoned hockey rink.  One of them tried to bite my microphone.  I had to use my emergency can of bear mace to scare them away.

Our only other option is for someone to donate their snow plow, or snow machine to remove this heavy snow.  Or we can rent out the Hammonton Roll Away on Thursday, for 2hrs.  Or just play broom ball instead.

It looks like the dogs are forming a pack to attack my camera crew.  This is Dan Greenoff for the Googily Gazette News."

We Shovel in Honor

The following is a statement from head league officials

"Waterford Hockey has suspended play for Weekend games, and will be closed indefinitely.  The recent storm has added a foot of snow, to the already 2ft covered rink. 

Monday Night the volunteer clean up party will be schedule, pending weather conditions.  If another winter storm approaches the Waterford area, it be re-scheduled later in the week

At this time it is advise to rest up and purchase a snow shovel at your local hardware store. Or if you don't have a shovel, broom, snow-blower, or truck, than I would bundle up and be prepare to be used as human battered ram to level off the acumalted snow.

We all know these are very pressing times for all members of the Waterford Hockey Community.  But we want to assure everyone that Hockey will return."

Monday Night, Clean up Party at 6pm.  Special guests include: Gang Green, Steve Arena, Guy Smiley, Master P and two Germans.  Clean up the rink with honor, and play by Wed Feb17, or Thurs Feb 18. 

Winter Storm Theater

Mother Nature lays Another

Live from the Googily Weather Center here is Arnold Swill

"The second storm that is going to hit the Waterford Metropolitan Area, will hit later tonight around 8pm-9pm.  We're are on the border of getting a significant amount of snow 12-18inches or a mere snowflake of 6-12 inches.

Please be advise to stay off the roads late tonight, onto Thursday morning.  The schedule clean-up crew party for Thursday has been canceled.  The 10day forecast shows no more snow or ice, but temperatures will be readly in the mid 30s, which will slow the melting of the remaining snow. 

So be ready for a "Cluster Splatter" of diarrhea heading are way.  Mother Nature just ate some Chimichangas , Buffalo Chicken Wings, Boiled Cabage Soup, The entire Indain Lunch Buffet, General Tso Chicken, A pork fried burrito supreme, and a gallon of Mountain Dew.  Pepto Bismol and Tums won't handle this mess, so take it easy and bundle up for the shit feast. 

I'm Arnold Swill, for the Googliy Gazette News team"

Volunteer Clean Up Crew Called into Action

Hi this Dan Greenoff for the Googily Gazette news.  The Nor'easter predicted by our head meterologist Arnold Swill, has demolished Waterford Hockey into a Winter Freeze.  Total snow amounts was confirmed at 22 inches, at the Internatinal Waterford Airport.

Another Snow storm that will be bring moderate snow fall is expected to hit the area Tuesday night into Wednesday morning.  Arnold Swill will be bring you live Googily Weather Center updates prior to this storm.

Waterford Hockey officials have canceled play for the entire week, and urge volunteers to help out for the clean-up. 

Gang Green local hero and air guitar champion made the following statement. 
"Ok, Boys we're called into action here.  I want everyone to show up for the Volunteer Clean Up Party this Thursday at 6pm.  I want intensity!  Courage!   Fire!   Loyalty!   Strength!   Heroics!   Power!    Fight! Indestructibility! And groin thrusting flexibility!  It is our duty as the Waterford Faithful Brigade Regiment  to protect are dignity as men. Now jump onto your horses and free Waterford of its oppressive snow accumulation.     Charge!!!!!!!!    Oh, if anybody could give me a ride that would be awesome.  Like I would take the bus, but the outrageous fare of $2.30 is ridiculous.  And my bike got a flat peddling to the Banana Republic the other day.  So I'm going to need a ride."

Bring a shovel, snow blower, broom, or a ride for Gang Green this Thursday at 6pm.  Refreshments and cookies will be provided. 

One Night

 

Live from the Googily Weather Center, here is new head meteorologist Arnold Swill.

"Hello all.  I'm Arnold Swill.  A Nor'easter is  heading up the east coast this Friday, which will dump heavy amounts of snow.  If the low pressure remains along the shore, it will be produce 16-22 inches of snow for the Waterford Metropolitan area.

I would recommend to stay indoors this Friday night and Saturday, as the storm will move out by early Sunday morning.

If any other new developments occurs, the Googily Weather Center will bring you live updates. "

Thank You Arnold Swill.

In other news the Waterford Grounds Crew, has removed the remaining snow and ice on the rink.  So tomorrow, Thursday Night Hockey shall return at its normal start time of 7pm.  If Arnold Swill's forecast is correct, this will be the last Waterford Game of the winter season.  

It is one night, one game, one final moement of Thursday Night Hockey at 7pm.  Be there!