Quad Skates fight for the Waterford Faithful in 2008

Quads making his historical "I want my Hockey lights back" speech from Feb 2008

I had to search far and wide in the Googily vault to come up with this gem from 2008.  Back in those days, the Blue Anchor Gang headed by Big Bobby Hill and Ivan Drago started to take over the Waterford Gardens.  Games were mean spirited with bloody hacked shins and Gang Green almost started a war over a salty slice of salami.  

It also was a time when the township turned the lights off and we had no night hockey for a 6 month period. The Chief Editor rallied the faithful to come out to a township meeting and demand our lights back.  On that cold winter night in 2008, Quad Skates stood up in front of the township government and defended Waterford Hockey. 

Today we honor Quad Skates on his birthday for being one of the key figures in the Waterford faithful movement.     

Promise of Light

The Googily Gazette

February 29, 2008

            No hockey was played this past week as weather cancelled weekend play and project lockout continues on night games.  But some rather optimistic news came from the town hall meeting on Wednesday Night as Quad Skates led the charge of fighting to retain the Thursday Night Hockey lighting system.  With the opening statement from the Mayor that he emphasis the importance of recreation in the town and that he would like to see more people get involved with the recreation department.  It seemed like an open and shut case to allow the lights to be turned back on.

            Quads made a heroic opening statement "I stand before you ladies and gentleman today a man that hasn't played a single game of Thursday Night Hockey in a week because of the audacious act of your town government.  Now I'm just a simple man that likes fast cars, cold beer, and the enjoyment of playing a recreational sport hockey on a pair of quad skates.  Some might say now why would somebody play on a pair of Quad Skates, I say why doesn't everybody play on a pair of Quad Skates."  A loud roar of applause came from the audience

            Standing all alone Quads spoke for the many that play Thursday Night Hockey, he was fearless in his stance and demanded answers for the imprisonment of our lights.

 "I ask you why oh why are the hockey lights at Waterford locked up?  This seems like a harsh action and must be resolved."  More cheers and clapping was echo throughout the building after this remark.

            A puzzled and confused Mayor had no idea that the lights for the hockey rink were lock up and question the Quad of what kind of organization was he representing.  Quad chuckled to himself at first than said "Mayor I don't represent any type of organization or group of people for that matter.  Tonight I speak for the kid would didn't want to play organize sports, or the guy who just worked a 10 hour shift at the construction yard, or even a evil mastermind that enslaved Bauer sticks in a universe far far away.  No Mayor we aren't an organization we are just simple Thursday Night Hockey players."

            In the crowd that night to support Quads conquest was the chief editor, Miguel Arena, Kevin Hand, and the usual soft-spoken Brian Boytano.  Past situations in Thursday Night Hockey history the Boytano showed little emotion or would even crack a smile during game play or during witty banner after the night was over. But after the following comment made by Quads Boytano stood up and raise his fist in the air and shouted "Viva Le Quad, Viva Le Quad, Viva Le Quad." Eventually the rest of the Thursday Night Hockey faithful had decided to stand along Boytano and unite in his chant.

The Mayor had to intervene and restore order back to the meeting "Gentlemen can you please sit down." As the Mayor struck his gavel numerous times the "Viva Le Quads" chants were quickly silence.   

As indicated in the Mayor's opening proclamation that he wanted to assist to Recreation aid.  He had some promising news for Quads and the many who attend Thursday Night Hockey "Well Mr. Quads given that you are playing on some historical means of skating devices, with those Quads Skates.   I can't ignore your passion for roller hockey and would like to help you and your friends anyway possible.  Hey that one bald guy over there didn't he skate in 88' Calgary games.  But please leave me your name and number and we will get this matter resolved as soon as possible.  We want you to play hockey and we want those lights turn back on."

With these significant words it looks like Thursday Night Hockey will back up and running soon.  Quads and Miguel Arena have also voluntarily sign up for the recreation committee, and would like to get more funding for our rink, which hasn't seen any. 

Meanwhile Councilman Barlow wasn't in attendance for Wednesday night's meeting citing that he still hasn't found a key to the lights.  He is trying to get a key from his brother who does stand up comedy by smashing watermelons.  It is believed that the key is being kept in one of those watermelons and Barlow hasn't yet picked the correct one.

 With cheerful smiles on everyone faces the meeting was adjourned.   Celebratory drinks were poured at the local watering hole with pints in the air and talks of improvements for the rink. Now it is time for the town to deliver of their promise of once again permitting Thursday Night Hockey.

"When one man pushes you down you get back up on both quads" Quads Skates comments on the inhuman injustices in the world.

Peace,

The Chief Editor

2 Dudes, 2 Coasts, 2 Outdoor Hockey Games

Sitting next to an intoxicated half Horatio Sanz, half Ron Jeremy appearance of a man, on the flight from Philadelphia to Los Angeles, my Devils stadium series hat had caught his attention.

"Hey dude, I like your hat.  It is very Christmas like.  Can, I take a picture of it? Oh, wait I don't have a SD card in my camera."

That was only the real normal part of the conversation I had with this guy, who went by the name of Mike S.  When he first arrived on the plane, he took the seat next to me and asked ,

"Where is this plane going?" 

I responded "Do you even know where you're going?"

"I don't know, I just hop on a flight, after drinking a few at the bar. But, seriously where is this flight going?" He replied.

"This flight is going wherever your ticket says it going." I said.

He looked a little flustered and agitated.  "Damn, I really need to take a piss.  I can't wait any longer, or I'll pee in my boot.  I could go for a joint right now.  Do you have any weed?"

This was my introduction to the west coast, before I even made it to Los Angeles. I don't know if I could handle more of these conversations.   He asked me why I was going to LA.  My response baffled him.  I told him, I was going to see an outdoor hockey game at Dodger's Stadium.

"Hockey.........." He replied.

"Yea, I'm going to see the Kings vs the Ducks outside. My one friend Mogilny is a Ducks fan, and I'm a Devils fan.  So we decided to both watch our favorite teams play outside in two days. "

"Wow, that is a first.  I never heard of people traveling from the east coast to the west coat to see a hockey game.  You, guys aren't messing with me are you.  Is there hidden cameras somewhere? This won't be on a late night television show will it."

"No I'm not joking around.  We came all the way out here to watch the Ducks vs Kings, then hop on a red eye flight back to New Jersey, to catch the Devils vs Rangers the next day." I responded.

"Ok.  You guys are crazy.  You are doing all this traveling, and didn't bring any weed along." He replied.

-------------Game 1 Kings vs Ducks at Dodger's Stadium-----------------------

Nothing is better than waking up to sunny California weather in January with temperatures in the low 80s.  The game isn't till 630pm local time, so we had time to do a little exploration. Let's go to a state park out in the valley. We did some rock climbing at Stoney Point Park, well not technical rock climbing with the harnesses and ropes.  The more proper term is scrambling, where we just climbed up on huge boulders with our sneakers.     

Mogilny scrambling up the rocks.  See he has proper grip form, by using his fingers.

View from the top

Some people like to tailgate or drink before hockey games.  Not in Cali, we go rock climbing.

After our rock climbing adventure we grab some dinner, then head out to the game.  The approach before Dodger's Stadium is through a park, where families are having picnics and people are walking along enjoying their Saturday afternoon.  I would never guess a baseball stadium would be so close by.

Parking spaces are super tight.  Moginly actually left his window down, while we were in the game.  But, since the spaces were so tight, nobody took anything from inside our car. Still a stupid move by Mogilny.

Fan fest outside in the parking lot.  Line was so ridiculously long, that we didn't bother to go in. 

EJ Hradek and The "Mullet" Barry Melrose on the NHL Network set. 

Beach volley ball court next to the hockey rink

The guy next to me, didn't know who this guy was.  I had to tell him it was Garry Bettman.  Still he didn't know.  I had to calm Mogilny down form his heckling. "Why don't we have another lock-out Gary!" We got dirty looks from the security staff. 

Let's get this game started.

I had to get a shot of some actual game action. 

Mogilny's Panoramic shot

We had to leave after the second period to catch our red eye flight.  But, Mogilny celebrating the inevitable Ducks 3-0 victory.

Lasting impressions of the Ducks vs Kings games, it was more of an event than a hockey game.  They had a beach volley ball court, Uncle Rico throwing touchdowns in the outfield, a Yoga circle, and kids playing street hockey on a roller hockey blue tile rink.  Oh, and Kiss played their entire best hits album from a massive stage in right field. It didn't feel like a hockey game at all, it was a spectacle of whatever we can throw in to appeal to as many people as possible.  I was surprised not to see a hacky sack circle of stoners next to the beach volley ball court.   However it was nice to see a sold out crowd, and that there is a strong presence of hockey fans in Southern California.

-----------------Game 2 Devils vs Rangers at  Yankee Stadium--------------------------

Brrrrr.... that frigid air as you walk off the plane hits you back to the east cold.  There won't be any pre-game rock climbing out here. Jumping on the red eye, we land in Newark at 7:30am local time.  We're fading fast as we didn't get much rest on the plane.  The seats in coach are not recommended for guys my size. Mogilny on the other hand, had the constant screams from a young child to keep him awake.  He yelled aloud in frustration "Who brings their child on a red eye flight."

Our friend Omar who lives in Newark picks us up from the airport.  We head back to his place, get a home cooked breakfast with IKEA bought Swedish pancakes. Oh don't forget the  berry spread for the Swedish pancakes. Damn that was good. We're exhausted.  Get an hour nap on Omar's couch, and it is time to take the train to Manhattan.

The excitement is exploding through the photo, of the Devils vs Rangers game

 Transferring onto the subway to 161st Yankee Stadium, a lot of Devils and Rangers fans are aboard the train.  I spark up a conversation with a Devils fan who is wearing a retro Scott Stevens jersey.  We talk about how the Devils need to add more offense, and how Jagr is carrying the team.  Train arrives at the station the conductor announces the stop and gives a "Let's go Rangers" chant. 

I'm regretting not wearing those thermals Mogilny offered me.

 

I'll wait to get my Jagr jersey next year.

Can't escape the NHL network crew. Kathryn Tappen, Kevin Weeks, Peter Laviolette, and I forget the other guy.

The atmosphere is not comparable to the Ducks vs Kings game.  Fans are pretty much half Rangers and half Devils, but the devils fans continue their different chants of Rangers suck.  Our seats are in right field, and our view isn't the greatest.  Its hard to follow the game action, we have to mostly look at the outfield television screen to see what's going on. 

Devils grab a early lead and look in control at 3-1.  But Rangers score a late first period goal to cut the deficit to 3-2.

 It's so cold, that we venture to the concessions stands to get something warm to eat.  No more hot chocolate.  What? We settle for the Yankee bucket of Chicken and 2 beers.  A whopping $42 grand total.  We huddle around the bucket of chicken as it's saturated fat warms our bellies. 

Game changes around in the second period as the Rangers score 4 unanswered goals.  I blame the bucket of chicken and immediately stop munching on our a gallon of fries. To my dismay, the Rangers finish the period with a commanding 6-3 lead. 

Our view from our seats in right field. Not shown is the jazzing performance by "Jersey Boys." LA you can keep your KISS, I'll take Frankie Valli and the boys. 

   Devils come out in the third and look like they just want to go home.  Halfway through the period, I tell Mogilny, I had enough and lets go. On our way out, a fight breaks occurs with some Devils and Rangers fans in the concourse.  For all the security, where is a cop when you need them.  After a good couple of minutes, its finally broken up.   

I talk to a Rangers fan, as I'm leaving the restroom.  "It's funny because both of these franchises haven't won anything in over a decade, and both sides continue to argue who has won a cup most recently.

Our epic trip ends with a 7-3 blowout victory by the Rangers.  Not, at all as I envisioned it, especially after the first period.  It was the most goals the Rangers have scored on Martin Brodeur  in a regular season game.  

How to compare the two events, is rather difficult.  The NHL had two rivals both play each other in these outdoor games, but I didn't sense any rivalry with the Kings and Ducks.  With the Devils and Rangers there has been past playoff blood. They replayed those moments repeatably at Yankee stadium, to add fuel to the already fired up fans. 

Ducks and Kings however never played each other in the playoffs.  For a real rivalry to occur, both of these teams have will have to square off in a playoff atmosphere.

Los Angeles like I stated before was more about selling the event, than the actual game itself.  If I have to watch paid extras to pretend to play nerf football in the outfield again, I will lose it.  "Nice throw Uncle Rico!"

New York was more about selling the rivalry between the two teams.  They kept it simple, a smaller ice rink for the kids on the field, and plenty of snow.  

As my good friend Mike S on the plane would say, "Hockey.....Yea I like  it.  Never really watch it, but it's tough."

Birthday Pinata Bash

Sea Isle 2012

Father Pat out 4-6 weeks.

On a lazy Saturday afternoon, Father Pat decided to practice his 4th line skating abilities at the local skate park.  If Father only knew the disaster consequences of making that decision. 

A group of teenage skaters whom frequent the park, were gathering their skateboards, and were about to roll off to the 7/11 to get a Raspberry Lemon Lime Slurpee and skittles.  "Dude, let's bounce this joint.  I'm getting thirsty and there is no new skater blood here." 

"Yea, this is uber lame."  one of the skaters agrees.  The teenager skaters leave the park, as Father Pat looks from a far from his green Toyota Echo.  "This is my chance, to practice by myself, and not be bullied by a bunch of punk kids."  Father murmurs to himself.

With a deserted skate park, Father Pat practice his hand plants, the twirly bird, and the infamous Father Sunday.  The Father Sunday was a move, that was banded from competitive aggressive inline skating competitions.    It was deemed too dangerous and many skaters lost their lives just trying to attempt the move. 

But, Father Pat was enjoying his serenity of skating by himself and practicing his outlawed moves.  The grind of competing at the Waterford Gardens, was taking a toll on Father Pat.  He, was leading the league in penalty minutes, and was tired of the physicality he had to bring each game.  This is what he really wanted in life.  To be a fruity booty.  He already signed the waiver of his bias sexuality as an inline skater. (A little unknown fact, is that in order to be an inline skater, you have to sign away you're heterosexuality, and admit your homosexuality.)

 Things were going great for Father Pat, the sun was hitting against his bare thighs, his hair was radiant in the summer breeze, and his soul had reach the greatest level of enlightenment.  As Father, planted a hand stand on the half pipe, he heard the sounds of juveniles.

"Nice, shorts there homo."  One of the teenagers shouted.  The group of skaters that were previously hanging out at the skate park had return with large Big Gulp Cups and bags of jiggly candy.

"Hey, I didn't know priests were publicly allow to admit they were gay." Another kid heckled. 

"Yeah, you should never of signed that waver, Father."  One of the other teenagers commented.

Father nervous and unsure how to handle the situation, decided to show off his great inline skating attributes.  "Kids, you want to see something really cool?"  he asked

"No, we don't want to see you're ball sack.  Plus with those shorts, we already have a very bogus view." One of the punk skaters replies.

"I knew, I shouldn't of signed that waver.  But, to be an inline skater, you have to fully embrace the alternative lifestyle.  Well, kids I know it hasn't been cool since 1994 to skate on in-lines. But, I'll show you the greatest and most dangerous move a skater can pull off.  Created by my mentor Father Pedro, on a hot summer afternoon in the New Mexico desert, this move will knock your socks off.    It has only been master twice in its existence.  This will show you, that inline skating can be cool.  Get ready for the Father Sunday."

Father Pat skates to the top of the half pipe, the teenage kids look in awe at what will be the greatest moment of their lives.   Father channels his inner peace, and fully becomes one with his in-lines.  What, they will witness can't be fully describe in words, it is something like a bald Eagle soaring in the wilderness.  A majestic water flowing freely from a gigantic waterfall.  The gushing colors of a vibrant rainbow beaming in the horizon.  Simply put, this is the Father Sunday.

Father still at the very top of the half pipe, skates down in a tumbling free fall.  His hands brace his fall, and his skin immediately rips from the uncontrollable carnage. Father Pat made it about 3 inches down the half pipe, before his 4th line skating abilities took over.

"I can't watch it no more."  A crying skater skates away.

After a visit to the doctors office, Father Pat was diagnosed with a broken wrist and a 4 to 6 weeks vacation to the Injury Reserve.  

 
 

Our Savior Father Pat

“When the township fixes these lights, then you can come talk to me Father Pat”  A disgruntle Gang Green shrouds his shoulders in defeat.  Gang Green packed his equipment and left the Waterford Gardens in bitter disgust.

Holy man of the church, and of the goal crease, Father Pat had defeated Gang Green once again for the third time this week.  With his team trailing 3 games to 2 in game 6, Father Pat closed his 5-hole and swallowed all shots that were in his vicinity.  

In a 2-0 hole, only a goal away from being eliminated, RJ rallied his troops with a new in-game strategy.  “I’ve been following Coldplay a lot on his twitter account, and he is very strategic in his Magic the Gathering Games.  He usually uses characters with a higher threshold against spells, creating a defense that eliminates attacks.  With that in mind, I used my own abilities in the defense zone, instead of wastefully using my offensive attacks.  Hanging back, and eliminated Montel from his vicious “I’m so Fat”  attacks worked in our favor.  

RJ ripped a slap shot, that fooled Gang Green into a vulnerable position on his knees.  The Chief Editor took the rebound of the boards and shot into an empty net.  It was the Chief Editor’s 8th goal of the night, in which he was unattended to.  

“I like to thank Waterford Township for shutting off half of the lights so now nobody can see my ass in front of the net.  Good job boys!”

The goal was the difference in the series, it forced a decisive game 7.  Father Pat took his perfect record in games 7 against Gang Green’s inability to see well.  

Game 7 was a tight affair,  RJ’s new defensive style provided added defense to the already stellar goaltending behind Father Pat.  Every shot, was swallowed up, rebounds were pushed to the corners, and a groovy kind of glove frustrated Steve Arena and company.  

“Father Pat is remarkable.  I’ve never seen a goalie with his make-up.  He has great vision, quick reactions, and a humble heart.  This guy has a chance of destroying all the records of the greats like, “The Franchise, Hextall and Cujo”  Oh yeah, I forgot Gang Green probably has some records too.”

The Double Agent watching from an unclosed location chimed in on Steve Arena’s comment.  “Yeah, Gang Green holds the record for the most fake injuries in a game.  I counted 27 “Ah.....my toes, during a Sunday Matinee.”

Steak Sauce iced the game in the final minutes.  Gang Green scrambling in the crease unable to locate the ball.  A1 had an open shot from the slot, and wound up a thunderous shot that caused an enormous sauce splash on the Waterford Gardens.  
 
“I looked up and saw Gang Green crawling on his back, I didn’t hesitate to take the opportunity to unleash the power of the Sauce on his crippled ass.  I put so much force on that shot, that I’m going to have fill myself up.  I can’t being waddling around with only a half bottle of Steak Sauce.”

Gang Green covered in Steak Sauce ooze once again blamed the poor lighting as the key factor in his defeat.  “This is bullshit, I can’t tell who is who.  This ball is a bland color of yellow, and the shadows in the corners are fucking ridiculous. The league office is going to get a long letter, from the player’s union about these shitty playing conditions.”

After the game Father Pat had some modest words “Gang Green you fucking suck!  You’re never going to beat me.  I’m fucking God. You can’t beat a man who praises Jesus Christ.  Man, I love kicking Gang Green’s ass.  It is almost as fun as giving Holy Communion to sexual excited school girls. Peace Out Bitches!”

Waterford Hockey returns this Saturday for a matinee game at 330pm.  Come out to play under the sun, and then play under a half lit rink.  Father Pat we salute you!

Winter Classic Recap