Tub's Quest

Tubs packing a snack for his journey

Sold out crowd at the Atco "Still Searching for a Prestigious Nickname" Rink last night.  Maximum capacity of 20 skaters filled the arena, where 5 vs 5 was instituted to make room for the social distancing on the benches. 

Goalies are tough to come by these days, as the depth chart had to give an Emergency Call up to Quads who made his annual appearance in net.  Sporting a backwards goalie stick, sunglasses, and a bubble mask, Quads did the Faithful a solid by suiting up last minute. 

In the other goal Tubs whom was last seen tossing his old skates in a trash can, made his return in net.  During his absence, Tubs went on an epic journey quest to find a more suitable protective athletic jock, than using Tupperware.  Far in the Japanese Alps near the Nagano Prefecture of Mount Ontake, Japan's second largest mountain and active volcano, Tubs heard the legend of Mount Ontake from his Tupperware Facebook group.  Emerged in the volcanic lava is a fiber more durable than plastic and is able to form to any person's crotch area for protection.  The samurais used this fiber for their armor during the Edo Period to defend against low blows. 

Tubs formed a rag tag bunch of mountaineers to trek to the top of Mount Ontake.  He had a local tour guy "Hansan" whom was a season climber who took groups during the climbing season from Spring to early Autumn.  Then there was "Yuuki" whom was a hip hop dancer from Tokyo that moved to the country side in the Nagano Prefecture to gain a more naturalist approach to his hip hop moves. Yuuki was employed by Hansan as a Sherpa to help the climbs and entertain the tourists with experimental pop and locking.    Then there was Uchi whom was the chef who had a small restaurant in town known for it's delicious meats.

The crew set-up base camp before the morning of their six week excursion in the Japanese Alps.  Tubs was apprehensive about the trip, he thought about purchasing a cup online at a hockey retail outlet, but didn't like the agitation by traditional hockey cups.  Hansan approached the worrisome Tubs as the fire burned bright during the cold Spring evening.   "Tubs, not to worry, I've done this climb three times a year for the past 18 years.  I know this mountain very well.  But, I must say this is the first time, looking for this fiber you're looking for.  I've heard my ancestors talk about such a fiber that it's stronger than metal and more flexible than bamboo.  If the legend is true, you'll have the best protective athletic jock ever assembled." 

Morning approached as Tubs and his Japanese crew set out for Mount Ontake. The crew would be approaching form the south side to the northern part of the Japanese Alps, as the terrain was much easier to navigate.   Yuuki with his spirits high was inspired to pop and lock some new moves while wearing a traditional African dashiki with bright red, blue, and green colors. 

As the weeks progressed, the crew were making great strides getting to the summit of Mount Ontake.  The weather started to take a more negative impact as the temperatures starting to drop at night.  Uchi having difficulties keeping the fire strong while cooking his mouthwatering meats, had to improvise by burning some dry paper products.   Hansan was upset that Uchi had used the maps to fuel the fire. 

"Uchi, you idiot!  Why are you using our maps for the fire?" Hansan yelled. 

"I need something to keep the fire going, these maps were only the paper I could find." Uchi replied. 

"I don't see what the problem is here.  It's 2020 and we can just use our phones for navigation, it's not like we really needed these paper maps."  Uchi commented. 

"Those maps are ancient relics, that have all of the hidden passageways to the summit.  The maps on our phone don't have that.  Go ask Siri, for directions to the summit, if you're so brilliant."  Hansan remarked. 

"But, I had to make sure the meats were cooked with the proper temperature.  We can't eat under-cooked meats, we need energy to continue this expedition.  I 'm not going to prepare cold vegetables.  Meat is the purity of man, and to replenished the soul we need the highest grade of beef cooked at the precise temperature.  Uchi remarked. 

"I love meat just as much as you, but we're going to have to turn around and proceed back.  There is no way we can continue with the harsh temperatures and no detail maps to guide us."  Hansan rebutted. 

It was week four and the crew still had two more weeks until the summit.  But with Uchi using the maps to cook his scrumptious meats, the crew had to make a decision to either continue with no maps or turn around and backtrack to base camp. 

Tubs didn't want to turn around, as wanted to continue his search for the fiber that would protect his genitals.  "Guys, is there anyway we can continue?  I've paid you my life savings for this trip, and don't want to turnaround at this point.  You don't know what's it like to wear a Tupperware container as a protective cup.  It's fucking miserable, and I'm not giving in to the big corporations and their conformist graphite jock straps."

Hansan tried to plead with Tubs "I'm so sorry what happen with the maps, but I don't think it's safe to continue.  The weather has turned on us and if we want to proceed we would be jeopardizing our lives."

"I thought you knew this land so well, you didn't need a map.  What kind of bullshit racket are you trying to pull here?  If this was America, I would want to speak to the manager at this point." Tubs replied. 

Hansan might have overestimated his knowledge of the Japanese Alps, but didn't want to back down to this fiber crazed American.  "Okay, we're going to continue.  But, I must warn you of the danger.  I will lead you the rest of the way, but the rest of my crew I'm going to send home.  Uchi, and Yuuki get your belongings together and make your way back to base camp.  I'll continue with Mister Tubs to the summit."

As the sun rose the next morning, the frost covered the high untamed grass, while dark looming clouds in the distance moved slowly to the campsite.  Yuuki and Uchi said their goodbyes and left to return to base camp.  Tubs and Hansan carrying their own gear and with limited food supplies, would just have enough to reach summit. 

Hansan using landmarks, would navigate the rest of the way without the maps that were thrown into the fire by the inept Uchi.  The clouds turned black as night, unleashing freezing rain and hail on the two.  Visibility was near impossible, but Tubs and Hansan continued towards Mount Ontake. 

The weather didn't let up in the upcoming weeks, the ground was stiff and mucky.  It was a grueling march to hike through the treacherous countryside.  There was so much mud on their hiking boots, and their feet soaked from the damp conditions they had developed trench foot. 

Hansan having difficulties to continue as he feet were swollen, every step he took was in utter pain and discomfort.  "Tubs, I can't go much further.  I need to rest, I can't feel my feet anymore."

"No, we must go on, I smell the melting lava of Mount Ontake.  We have to be close, we can't stop now. " Tubs replied. 

Hansan covered in mud, was slipping in agony.  He fell to the ground, and was crying in pain to Tubs." I can't go on anymore.  Go on without me, I can't go any further.  I'm going to die here in the sacred ground of the mountain gods.  Please go on and get your fiber.  I hope you're athletic cup will bring great honor to your goaltender capabilities.  I'm no more for this land." 

Tubs stopped and turned to Hansan to see if he could revive him from the soil.  "Hansan get up!"

Hansan's breath had stopped, as he had succumbed defeat to the mountain.  Tubs checked for a pulse and gave him a farewell. "Hansan I won't forget you.  I'll tell your family that you were heroic in our quest."

Alone, Tubs was close to the fiber that had eluded him all these weeks.  Rain continued to obstruct his view, but Tubs was determine to march forward to Mount Ontake.  As he was getting near, the black ashes of the active volcano had hit his face along with the cold spring rain.  Tubs pushed with every ounce of energy he had left. It was six weeks since he left base camp, and he was on the verge of the summit. 

Tubs sloshed through the sacred soil of Mount Ontake, and had finally reached the summit.   He looked into the prehistoric crater and saw the hot steam resonating.   His fiber was emerged into the lava and would have to be carefully extracted using a hockey stick made out of impenetrable galvanized steel.  Tubs lowered his stick into the bubbling crater, and cradled the lava into a bucket of water to cool.  Once in the bucket, the lava diminished and he saw it.  The fiber glistening in the bucket, glowing from the cooled lava.  It was there, the fiber he had traveled so far. He was eager to touch it, to make sure it was as durable as he heard from his Tupperware Facebook Group.  As the steam dissolved, he lifted the fiber in the air, and screamed aloud to the dark skies above "There shall be only one!"

Back to the game, it was a back and forth tilt as both teams were lighting up Quads and Tubs in net.  G-Man with the game on his stick in Game 7 overtime, shot a towering one-timer low and to the entire empty space Quads had neglected to block.  G-Man fist pumped and shouted with enjoyment as he ended the night with the game winner. 

Tubs in the other net, paused after the game had concluded, and looked at his cup he had formed out of the volcanic lava from Mount Ontake, "Damn, this new cup doesn't feel very comfortable."

Sabato Salvages the Reopening of the Atco Rink

Sabato showing off the guns during last year's Sea Isle trip. 

Amidst the cloud of high racial tensions in town, the Faithful return to the Atco Rink to bring peace, love, and hockey back to the local community. 

On the Fourth of July, A Black Lives Matter Protest was held in town to promote equality for people of color and to spark conversations about police brutality from the George Floyd murder. The local townspeople non too pleased to listen to any racial equality demonstrations, decided to organized a counter Patriot March held at the Atco Rink.  One of the fanatical nationalist draped in patriotic paraphernalia addressed the crowd of enraged suburbanites.

"It's the Fourth of July and these damn minorities want to take our day away to promote equality.  Well guess what if you don't like this country, get the fuuuuck out.  My family has lived in this town since Chester A. Arthur was in office, and there is no ounce of racism here.  This is America land of the free.  Don't be taking any of our jobs!"

Instead of welcoming the Black Lives Matter Protests, social media sparked hatred towards the group as a previous protest was cancelled due to one of the organizers receiving death threats and being harassed at her place of work. It has been one side fighting against the other which only showed the ugly prejudiced seeds still planted in town. 

A rather upset civil rights leader Quad "F Kennedy" Skates was disturb how the town treated the Black Lives Matter Movement, "Let these Black Lives Matter people have their marches, I don't see what the problem is here.  There is a civil unrest in our country and these marches shine a light on the continuous racial problems.  All I heard on social media was what about the looting and rioting?  What is left in this town to riot and loot?  The Waterford Township Council has already looted the townspeople over the pass 15 years by letting the majority of businesses to leave.  What remains is a Dollar Store and the Carpet Store in town.  Are people going to break into Atco Carpet and steal boards of carpet samples.  People in this town act like their lives are fine, so they don't care about the disfranchised people in society.  Their solution was to say fuck you we're going to have our own protest during the same time, same place, and show people of color that we don't give a fuck about them."

The Faithful waiting since mid March when the Coronavirus Pandemic closed the luxurious Atco Rink,  we're finally permitted to return with strict CDC guidelines. Each player will have to have a temperature check before allowed on the rink, each player has to keep social distancing on the benches, each player has to bring hand sanitizer and a copy of Joel Otto's Hockey Fundamentals.  Which is basically a fan fiction copy of the 1986 film Youngblood but the main character stars Joel Otto not Rob Lowe as Dean Youngblood. 

Order today at your local hockey pro shop "Joel Otto's Hockey Fundamentals"  

In the desperation of finding goalies during the hot summer months, Speedy was called up again from the Albany Land Otters to get another shot in net.  Fans were anxious to see how Speedy would respond from his poor outing last time, when he was pulled in the middle of the series for the extra attacker. 

This time around Speedy was just as disinterested as his previous performance, by getting shelled in 5 games.  He was immediately pulled for Sabato who brought his goalie equipment just in case Speedy was to be pulled.  Speedy dejected took the pads off and called an Uber back to the Chinatown Bus Station. 

After the debacle of the first series, Sabato suited up for a more competitive series verse Jason in net.  The weltering humidity and the large rink size tired the Faithful, as players were leaving early. It went from 2 subs on each bench to a mere 3 vs 3 iron man finale. 

Robo was traded to team Chief Editor and Scores A Lot by the G-Man unit who was compensated with a future 2021 fourth round draft pick.  With the teams comprised of the Chief Editor, Robo, Scores A Lot, and Jason in net vs G-Man, AI, Eli, and Sabato as the keeper for the final game. 

It was first announced that the final game would end at 5 goals, the wide open play of 3 vs 3 would make it a quick conclusion.  But Sabato showed cat like reflexes positioning himself deep in his crease and using his over-sized leg pads to take up most of the net.  Scores A Lot and The Chief Editor peppered Sabato who was on the top of his game. 

Eli and AI counter with a run and gun style of play using the entire rink with their speed finding each other on odd man rushes.  AI shielded the ball with his elusive cutting and turning skating abilities, commanded the rink. 

Robo was in awe by the play by AI, "It was pure art watching AI play in the open space tonight.  I felt like I was watching Baryshnikov at his peak during the 1970s male ballet circuit.  With each stride, AI was masterful in his body movements and elegant with his balance.  His skating was nothing short of phenomenal and controlled the ball while he dazzled everyone with his wheels."

With the score 2-1 in favor of team Scores A Lot, AI sent a breakout pass to a streaking Eli who was fired out of a cannon down the wing.  The Chief Editor defended Eli by directing him to the outside, by Eli lowered his shoulder and powered his way to the net.  Eli fighting off the Chief Editor was holding his stick with one handed and dragged the ball on his backhand to beat Jason five hole. 

The game tied 2-2, the night winding down in the final minutes.  The faithful gassed by exerting every bit of energy to finish the series.  The previous announcement of finishing the game in 5 goals was reduced to only 3 goals.

Hunched over to catch another breath, sweat dripping down the remaining of the faithful whom bore the heat were soaked in perspiration.  It was down to the final goal to determine the conqueror of endurance.  The Chief Editor retrieved the ball out of Jason's net to reset for the final rush of the night.  As the Chief Editor looked to begin his push he heard a loud roar from his goalie Jason.  "I''m done guys!  I'm going to shit my pants right now.  I don't feel like dropping shorts on the beach volleyball court."

No victor was crowned, the faithful agreed to call it a draw for the night. 

Hockey Gods Say Hooooooo

Gidel making good use of his $500 Umbrella 

The moths and misquotes began to swarm feverishly on a hot and humid night at the Gardens.  Memories of previous summer nights, where the visibility was near impossible to play since these insects hovered a cloud of aggravation.  A few rain drops began to fall and the mega-sized moths starting to hum violently as they knew what was coming from the Hockey Gods above. 

Before the game, negotiations with the mayor's office of a decision to officially open up the Atco Rink July 6 were ironed out with CDC guidelines to follow.  The Street Hockey Macho Dads again tried to foil the Faithful's plan of returning to the Atco Rink.  Demands of signing and notarizing a hold harmless waiver by each player who participated in any pick-up games was requested to the Waterford Faithful.   As these waivers were labeled as a "Waiver for an Organization that is not an Organization" and was only drafted for the Waterford Faithful to sign. Meanwhile nobody else using the public parks in town would have to sign a waiver.  A few arguments were presented that the Faithful were once again getting targeting unfairly, and the waivers were thrown out and forgotten. 

Waterford's favorite sea captain Peg Leg decided to anchor up to shore with no goalie equipment and ankle busting Mission Skates from the mid 2000s.  With every stride Peg Leg was having difficulties staying upright and was so infuriated with his balance, he tore off his shirt and played bare chest the rest of the evening. 

Quads was perplexed by the actions of Peg Leg throughout the night "Man that Peg Leg guy really has a lot of pent up anger,  He skates and then he rips off his shirt, throws his stick and then complains about his teammates aren't making quick enough line changes.  I liked him a lot better when he was hobbling in the goal crease.  Also he looks like a guy from a movie that was made, you know the movie with a guy that resembles what Peg Leg looks like."   

The bench shrugged their shoulders and AI's only memory was of a Sasquatch bare-chest basketball scene in Along Came Polly the 2004 film staring Ben Stiller.  No link to follow, as I watched this gripping form of cinema with mediocre amusement. 

It was a fast paced series, as the talent was compromised of skill and speed.  The only Speed not on the rink, was Speedy who's Chinatown Bus ticket turned out to be a counterfeit Take out Menu and returned back to the Gardens as a skater.   The fans booed every-time Speedy touched the ball as they were not forgiving by his uninspired goalie performance Saturday Night.

Don was in net, shaking the rust and sweating the gallons of water with every butterfly save.  For a goalie that was out of action for several months, Don looked sharp.  But as the night wore on the fatigue and heat exhaustion were apparent. 

Hawthorne was impressed by the return of Don in net "After the debacle with Speedy on Saturday Night it was great to see a goalie giving his all.  I can't believe Don suited up in this unbearable heat and never complained."

Game 3 in the second series, Don was showing signs of tiredness with every save.  Peg Leg finally getting his wish, the crowd thinned out in the later hours and playing time was plentiful. 

Peg Leg was heard inspiring his favorite teammate "Hawthorne I'm open! Hawthorne send it up! Hawthorne I'm right here buddy!  Hawthorne dangle it baby!  Hawthorne shoot it! Hawthorne I love you man!"

Hawthorne and Peg Leg formed a dynamic duo that was being defended by a sluggish Don who was barely getting up anymore.  A few rain drops sprinkle the rink, a few more.  Hawthorne behind the net trying to find his Peg Leg teammate.  The thumbing of rain continued.  Peg Leg wide open in the slot fired a shot. Stick save by Don.  Hawthorne retrieved the rebound in the corner fed a hungry Peg Leg again. Blocker save by Don.

Sounds of the misquotes were silent and the Hockey Gods unleashed the pitch black skies.  The rink flooded with intensified rain, Hawthorne once again fed a wide open Peg Leg who skated all alone on Don.  Peg Leg slipping in the rain, anchored on his wooden limb, fired a slapper right into Pope's Petunia Plants.

The ball was lost, the rain splattered the Faithful, the game was called for the evening. 

That's Game Boys!

 

Speedy Pulled in Defeat

Speedy's Off Ice Training Program 

The long awaited return of the Googily Gazette taking a 6 year hiatus, fighting with local government officials and plumpy power hungry street hockey Dads, the Chief Editor is back.  A lot has happen since the golden era of the RJ Goaltender Factory. 

A new full size rink was built in downtown Atco, but not with a lot of controversy.  The Waterford Township Athletic Association fought tooth and nail with the Waterford Faithful to keep skaters off the rink.  The faithful rose up against the tyranny of the Waterford Township Committee, attending numerous public town meetings and going door to door for petition signatures.  The Waterford Faithful in the end won over the Township Committee and was granted the right to skate on the new Atco hockey rink.  

But not all is peaceful in the Waterford Metropolitan Area, as a global pandemic has closed the new Atco rink, and the Faithful have been forced out of town to organize any gatherings.  On June 22 Waterford Township allowed for play to continue at the prestigious Waterford Gardens, but the Atco "No Catchy Nickname Yet" Rink is still closed to the public.  

The German who's being playing at the gardens since he was a der Junge in lederhosen, is now a grown Deutsche Boy pouring cold refreshments at the Waterford Bier Haus.  On a lazy hot summer afternoon, the German decided to organized an impromptu late night Saturday game at Waterford.    

With a shortage of goalies, Speedy was promoted from the Waterford Affiliate in Albany, the Albany Land Otters for the prime-time Saturday skate.  Speedy suffering from back pain, was injured prior to game time performing acrobatic flips from his trampoline into his swimming pool.   

"What was wrong with that goalie?  I'm busting my ass lifting transmissions in a '17' Nissan Pathfinder, and this kid goes and hurts himself performing Cirque du Soleil flips from the high top." Quads angrily commented. 

Just another day at the office for Quads

A first in Waterford Hockey History as a goalie was pulled late in the best of seven series for an extra attacker.  Chief Editor made the motion during game 6 for an early shower for Speedy.  Quads coming off the bench depleted by the effort he had to exert from the transmission he had lifted, was sent in as the extra attacker.   With their backs against the wall, and an empty net, Eli and the Chief Editor scored two unanswered goals to force a decisive game 7. 

Eli replied about the effort of his team in Game 6  "Pulling the goalie gave the team an extra spark.  The boys were getting tired of giving up their bodies for Speedy that wasn't clearly interested in playing goal.  I was having flashbacks of Paul the Wall's nonchalant goaltender style."  

The series went to a final game 7, where Quads was playing goal with the empty net. Scores a Lot took advantage of the empty net being protected by a defenseless Quads, finished off game 7 scoring the game winning goal.  

A dejected Chief Editor addressed his team after the completion of the series.  "Well boys we tried, we did the unthinkable by pulling our goalie for the advantage of the extra attacker.  Quads did his best with no goalie equipment protecting the goal.  Those roller skates were only designed for shuffling and twirling, not for playing goalie.  " 

Speedy was immediately sent back to Albany on the Chinatown Bus and had no comment on his lackluster effort.    

Sea Isle 2014 Do you like Beards

Gang Goon

"I know Kung Fu, and i'm not afraid to use it on you, Ace."

  A Blues album release party that was suppose to unite both Gang Green and Ace went terribly wrong  Monday night. A bewildered Italian was very disappointed  "I don't understand these guys, I came to support both countries of  Canada and USA and instead I had to watch Gang Green wrestle Ace to the ground near the basketball courts.  I thought the Blues were suppose to bring people together."

It started where all modern day drama occurs on social media between Captain Canada Ace and American folk hero Gang Green. Not pleased with the percentage of players in the NHL being Canadian Gang Green express his discern. "I hate Canada and every person associated with that ice box of a country.  Right now, I say fuck them and deport every Canadian now.   I pay taxes, why should I let these Canucks live here."

Ace spokesman for all of the people of Canada, did the unthinkable, he brought up some facts about these hated Canadians.  "Gang Green do you understand, that if you deport all of these Canadians, the Flyers organization would be of bunch of Europeans.  Lets go to the roster of the current Canadians on the roster. Giroux, Simmons, Mason, Emery, both Schenn brothers, Hartnell, Read, LeCavalier,  Coburn, and MacDonald."

"I don't care we live in the greatest country in the world with a president that prolong my unemployment 7 years.  If, I was living any where else, I wouldn't be able to live my posh lifestyle of a modern car, high speed internet, and buying fire pits like a round of beers. If your going to live here Ace, don't be a traitor and root for Canada." Gang Green rebutted.. 

"I grew up in Canada and still have family there.  I don't see how rooting for Canada is such a problem.  Maybe if you got a job and did something with your life instead of trolling on kids half your age, you wouldn't be such a miserable person." Ace remarked

"Fuck you Ace, you don't know me.  I live on my own, and have been doing construction for the past 2 weeks.  Keep talking shit and i'm going to kick your ass." Gang Green replied.

Ace choose not to respond for awhile knowing he might of offended Gang Green, and like any respected Canadian felt remorse. Gang Green still recovering from his life time ban from the NY Rangers message board had a new enemy to loath.       

 "Ace, Elton John called and he is said you're a candle in the wind."
"Go ice fishing and watch Canadian Bacon."
"Justin Bieber said he wouldn't hang out with you either Ace."
"Ace where are you buddy? You can't handle the Gang Green heat."

  Ace did respond minutes later.  "I stopped responding because I have more important things to do with my life rather than to respond to someone of lesser value of my time"

Gang Green engulfed in rage, logged off his computer and made his first appearance to the Gardens since 2011. Teams were divided between the two captains Ace and Gang Green. 

Team Canada Ace vs USA Gang Green.  

Realizing his skating had deteriorated since his hey day in the late 90s, Gang Green took a page out of Mike Milbury's page of goon tactics.   With about 3 shifts under his belt in which he ate the pavement more often then he shot the ball, Gang Green went to the bench.  Words were exchange between the two on the bench and Gang Green's eyes grew of red flames. 

Charging like a general on a death march, Gang Green grab Ace from behind and wrestled him into the grass.  Gang Green had Ace in his deadly scissor leg lock, and the two were tangled for awhile.  Eventually played had been stopped, and the two still didn't move.  The faithful pleaded with Gang Green to let Ace go, but nothing.

RJ was getting frustrated will the prolong delay "Come on Gang Green, I want to play hockey.  This is not what Waterford Hockey stands for.  We didn't show up tonight, to watch you jump Ace on the bench."

Finally the Chief Editor broke the two apart and ejected Gang Green from the Gardens.  League officials made a statement about the incident.  "We're fully aware of the violent and goon like acts by Gang Green tonight.  Fighting a player not on the rink will not be tolerated.  We're scheduling an in person meeting with Gang Green and will discuss his future."

Rallying around their emotional ejected leader, team USA/Gang Green annihilate a frail Canadian Ace team in 5 games. Goalie for team Ace, Brother credited the wrestling match in the grass as the turning point in the series "When you watch your Captain get sexually molested by on older balder man, it is really difficult to play after that. I would compare it to watching OZ the HBO syndicated show about men getting rapped in prison. "

A scene from the HBO's acclaimed OZ

So what did we learn from this incident.  Well Gang Green is a crazy mo-fo that is for one.  Ace now has been apart of the two only fights at the Gardens.  Another is a war of words turns violent, joking around on social media turns Gang Green into a thug.   Now, Ace is recovering in the hospital in a full body cast.  Here is an animated representation of our battered Ace.

Hang in there Ace, you'll get through this.  We're all rooting for you. 

Brother the knowledgeable soft spoken but wise hockey goalie philosopher quoted his great mentor Plato to summed up this debacle.  

Quad Skates fight for the Waterford Faithful in 2008

Quads making his historical "I want my Hockey lights back" speech from Feb 2008

I had to search far and wide in the Googily vault to come up with this gem from 2008.  Back in those days, the Blue Anchor Gang headed by Big Bobby Hill and Ivan Drago started to take over the Waterford Gardens.  Games were mean spirited with bloody hacked shins and Gang Green almost started a war over a salty slice of salami.  

It also was a time when the township turned the lights off and we had no night hockey for a 6 month period. The Chief Editor rallied the faithful to come out to a township meeting and demand our lights back.  On that cold winter night in 2008, Quad Skates stood up in front of the township government and defended Waterford Hockey. 

Today we honor Quad Skates on his birthday for being one of the key figures in the Waterford faithful movement.     

Promise of Light

The Googily Gazette

February 29, 2008

            No hockey was played this past week as weather cancelled weekend play and project lockout continues on night games.  But some rather optimistic news came from the town hall meeting on Wednesday Night as Quad Skates led the charge of fighting to retain the Thursday Night Hockey lighting system.  With the opening statement from the Mayor that he emphasis the importance of recreation in the town and that he would like to see more people get involved with the recreation department.  It seemed like an open and shut case to allow the lights to be turned back on.

            Quads made a heroic opening statement "I stand before you ladies and gentleman today a man that hasn't played a single game of Thursday Night Hockey in a week because of the audacious act of your town government.  Now I'm just a simple man that likes fast cars, cold beer, and the enjoyment of playing a recreational sport hockey on a pair of quad skates.  Some might say now why would somebody play on a pair of Quad Skates, I say why doesn't everybody play on a pair of Quad Skates."  A loud roar of applause came from the audience

            Standing all alone Quads spoke for the many that play Thursday Night Hockey, he was fearless in his stance and demanded answers for the imprisonment of our lights.

 "I ask you why oh why are the hockey lights at Waterford locked up?  This seems like a harsh action and must be resolved."  More cheers and clapping was echo throughout the building after this remark.

            A puzzled and confused Mayor had no idea that the lights for the hockey rink were lock up and question the Quad of what kind of organization was he representing.  Quad chuckled to himself at first than said "Mayor I don't represent any type of organization or group of people for that matter.  Tonight I speak for the kid would didn't want to play organize sports, or the guy who just worked a 10 hour shift at the construction yard, or even a evil mastermind that enslaved Bauer sticks in a universe far far away.  No Mayor we aren't an organization we are just simple Thursday Night Hockey players."

            In the crowd that night to support Quads conquest was the chief editor, Miguel Arena, Kevin Hand, and the usual soft-spoken Brian Boytano.  Past situations in Thursday Night Hockey history the Boytano showed little emotion or would even crack a smile during game play or during witty banner after the night was over. But after the following comment made by Quads Boytano stood up and raise his fist in the air and shouted "Viva Le Quad, Viva Le Quad, Viva Le Quad." Eventually the rest of the Thursday Night Hockey faithful had decided to stand along Boytano and unite in his chant.

The Mayor had to intervene and restore order back to the meeting "Gentlemen can you please sit down." As the Mayor struck his gavel numerous times the "Viva Le Quads" chants were quickly silence.   

As indicated in the Mayor's opening proclamation that he wanted to assist to Recreation aid.  He had some promising news for Quads and the many who attend Thursday Night Hockey "Well Mr. Quads given that you are playing on some historical means of skating devices, with those Quads Skates.   I can't ignore your passion for roller hockey and would like to help you and your friends anyway possible.  Hey that one bald guy over there didn't he skate in 88' Calgary games.  But please leave me your name and number and we will get this matter resolved as soon as possible.  We want you to play hockey and we want those lights turn back on."

With these significant words it looks like Thursday Night Hockey will back up and running soon.  Quads and Miguel Arena have also voluntarily sign up for the recreation committee, and would like to get more funding for our rink, which hasn't seen any. 

Meanwhile Councilman Barlow wasn't in attendance for Wednesday night's meeting citing that he still hasn't found a key to the lights.  He is trying to get a key from his brother who does stand up comedy by smashing watermelons.  It is believed that the key is being kept in one of those watermelons and Barlow hasn't yet picked the correct one.

 With cheerful smiles on everyone faces the meeting was adjourned.   Celebratory drinks were poured at the local watering hole with pints in the air and talks of improvements for the rink. Now it is time for the town to deliver of their promise of once again permitting Thursday Night Hockey.

"When one man pushes you down you get back up on both quads" Quads Skates comments on the inhuman injustices in the world.

Peace,

The Chief Editor