Evil Mogilny Birthday Promotion

Waterford Gardens Smack-down!

How do Suitcases know where to meet you?

Master P Moment 2011

Master P sporting his festive New Years look

To bring in the New Year here at the Googily Gazette we bring you the first Master P moment of 2011.  As shown in the photo above( with the make-up of his favorite hip hop duo of the insane clown posse) Master P was in a heated conversation with a curious transit commuter about the environment.  

It started out at the very end of a bizarre New Years eve night.  The Master P, Mogilny, the chief editor and brother went out to Brooklyn for a Flock of Seagulls New Years eve bash.  To summarize that party, would be an insult to the innocent bystanders who participant in such a great event.  Mogilny's shock expression told most of the insanity that transpired.  "I now have stories to tell the rest of my adult life."  A wide eyed Mogilny commented. 

As the night ended, the foursome waited at the Path train station for their 530am train ride home.  The four standing on the cold platform, killing time and still pondering what their minds had engulfed from the Flock of Seagulls party mayhem. 

While waiting with the other party goers of the New Years eve night.   A curious pink suitcase and jacket observer approached the group.  She pointed at the face painted Master P and asked "Why is he the only person with his face painted.  The rest of you look normal, and this guy (referring to Master P) looks ridiculous."

Mogilny chimed in "You don't know what kind of ridiculous we experienced tonight."

"It just doesn't make any sense to me.  I feel like the rest of you guys should have your faces painted as well." pink suitcase lady commented.

"I was the only person who wanted to participated in the festivities of that party.  I don't think you should judge me on my sheer willingness to ride a wave with Flock of Seagulls."  Master P responded

"What kind of party was this?  How much did you have to drink?" pink suitcase lady replied

"Well we bought a 24 pack of Pabst.  Then we ran out of that.  So I went around and took whatever I could find.  I scrummage out a drop full of wine from some stranded bottles.  I stole a bottle of champagne, and I lick the bottom of some liquor bottles to satisfy my thirst."  Master P said

"You sound like one of the most shadiest person I ever met."  pink suitcase lady commented

"Why does that make me a shady person?" Master P questioned.

"You just admitted to lurking around and stealing other people's alcohol.  Who does something like that?" pink suitcase lady replied.

"You don't know me.  I'm a very honorable person.  I volunteer for the US government, by taking care of the environment.  I lived in the Nevada desert smoking weed everyday, and doing a shit load of hallucinogenics.  As the drugs wore off,  I managed to clear trails and became one with mother earth."  Master P remarked

"That doesn't mean you know anything about the environment.  You just cut down some branches and cleared brush.  You're just a glorified landscaper."  pink suitcase lady replied.

"Don't tell me I don't know anything.  What the hell do you know about the environment?"  Master P responded.

"Well actually I'm an environmental engineer."  pink suitcase lady rebutted.

Master P baffled by her response had no remark.  Mogilny in a hysteria of laughter fell to the Path train platform. 

"I work for a company that designs water drinking systems, and landfills.  So I think I have an idea about the environment." pink suitcase lady continued.

"That's total bullshit.  I do more on my own to help the environment.  I'm currently in a project called "Dumpster Dive a meal".  I go from Dumpster to Dumpster and eat package food that normally goes to waste.  I don't eat half eaten food or anything like that.  Fuck that shit.  I'm preserving landfill space and the waste that goes through the preparation of each food product.

You see there is a lot of waste that goes through each food product.  The materials used for packaging, are made at an industrial plant.  Than the workers whom work at these plants eat food and produce garbage.  Than the gas that is used for the transportation of the food products pollutes our atmosphere.  All of this goes into making slice bread.

To conclude, my dumpster diving prevents the exploitation of the Capitalistic pigs who burn solid materials to produce simple food items."  Professor Master P discussed .

"Why would I take anything seriously from a person who has their face painted like a jugglo from the Insane Clown Posse. "  pink suitcase lady commented

This Master P moment is brought to you by the VSN media global.  Sign up now and receive customize bumper stickers of your favorite NHL team.  Waterford Hockey returns next week on Wed, stay tune if game time conditions are favorable from the winter wonder gardens clean-up.

It case you're wondering who the Insane Clown Posse are here is a little treat of their hit single "Miracles".  Can you tell which ICP member has the same make-up as the Master P?  Happy New Year!

Waterford Winter Gardens

Live from the Waterford Gardens here is our field reporter Dan Greenoff. 

"Hi, this is Dan Greenoff for the Googily Gazette news team.  It appears hockey will be suspended indefinitely at the prestigious Waterford Gardens.  Snow drifts have covered the rink in large mounds of snow, and no clean-up crew has been arranged. 

From previous winter blasts, a clean up crew was called into action, but only the Chief Editor and AI manged to show.  Even though hot chocolate drinks were served.  Nobody attended, and it was a daunting task for just the Chief Editor and AI.

This year, the Waterford Authorities have decided to let mother nature take care of the impending snow.  The Googily Weather Center is calling for high temperatures in the upper 50s by Friday, which will help melt the remaining white stuff on the rink.

The fourth annual Winter Classic on New Years Day at 6pm, will be re-schedule for a later date.  Unless mother nature cooperates and melts the rest of this nuisance snow.  But at this time it is highly unlikely any hockey will be played at the Waterford Gardens for at least 1 week or later. 

Here is a video that was shot this afternoon, that shows the devastation from the blizzard.

Gang Green Runs off with the Pizza

The closing ceremonies of the first annual Holiday Bash classic, concluded with leftover fireworks from the War Machine  intermission spectacular the previous night.  As the cold dark sky illuminated with vibrant colors by high powered explosives, tears of joy and a somber mood of happiness echo throughout the audience. 

It was the end of a very successful run of back to back games at the Waterford Gardens, with crowds of 13 skaters on Wednesday night, and 11 skaters on Thursday both with two goalies.  Gang Green had fulfilled his promised by baking cookies and saves in his goalie crease.  The hall of fame goaltender had an outstanding performance in the second half of the back to back series leading his team to a victory in 5 games.

As the remaining fireworks fired into the empty star light sky, a free give-away that was not announced to the Waterford Faithful was brought to attention.  "I forgot to give you guys the free pizza from the VSN party.  Gang Green was suppose to hand out slices to all, but he instead stash it away next to the low bargain merchandise deals in his trunk." The Chief Editor explained.

"That's not cool man.  Damn you Gang Green I was really craving some free pizza.  Now I have to go on Facebook and read about the sound mixer and WNBA New York Liberty merchandise you are trying to sell on Facebook.  Next thing you know he will be selling a half eaten slice of pizza for .45cents with a throwback Rebecca Lobo jersey. "  A disgruntle Master P commented

The box of pizza was autographed by Googily Gazette supported and Syracuse Crunch mascot look alike Tom Valentino.  "I wanted the Waterford Faithful to be feed by some pizza I stumble upon at the Christmas party at our company the VSN media global. As a partner of the Googily Gazette it is our duty to supply information about the Waterford Gardens, Weather Updates, and free pizza when available.  Now I gave a box of pizza  as a donation of good will to be shared to all Waterford Faithful members.  But apparently one starve craved member took the box for himself and ran off with it."

Whereabouts of the box of pizza was last scene in the passenger seat of 97' Black Saturn, on the Old White Horse Pike.  It is unknown if the rest of the slices were eaten, or thrown away.  A cash reward for anybody that has any information of the captive box of free pizza.  Please be aware of the appetite of the driver, that he may devour the rest of the slices. 

Here is a sketch drawing of the driver of that 97 Black Saturn.

Suspect robber of the free box of pizza

 

 

 

 

 

Please be aware of the suspect ability to rip an excellent air guitar solo at any given moment. 

Waterford Hockey returns next week Tues, Wed, and Thurs.  Pond hockey also might be played on Sunday morning, or the morning of any of those days.  Stay connected to the Googily Gazette for more updates, and have a wonderful Kwanzaa. 

Das ist War Machine

Chef Rosco Gang Green handed out his holiday cookies, for all Waterford faithful last night.  He put together Green inspired ingredients from all over the world to make delightful cookie flavors like: Broccoli Mint Chocolate Chip, Spinach Oatmeal, Celery Almond, and the fan favorite of Cabbage Sugar Onion.  Master P was very pleased with the selection of cookies

"That Gang Green really knows how to bake some holiday treats.  I was contemplating going to Baja Fresh before the game and get the Carnitas Spicy Burrito.  They really make such succulent pork.  It is really moist, and it just melts in your mouth.  But the Cabbage Sugar Onion cookie Gang Green made was magnificent. It had such great flavors.  The cooked cabbage really complemented the sweet taste of onion and sugar.  Hats off to the chef Rosco Gang Green, I thought he only knew how to eat french fried potatoes. "

Gang Green wishing for french fried potatoes 

 

 

 In the game action Waterford Faithful Legacy War Machine made a triumph return to the Waterford Gardens.  He brought a physical presence that was sorely missed in his absence.  Also Tom Unangst return from his military action in Iraq.  Tom brought a gritty forecheck, and helped set up Mr. Magoo on numerous occasions. 

Tom with great wisdom, was stoic about his return to the Waterford Gardens  "It feels good to be back, but I wish Mr. Magoo would stop running into his own players.  Like how many times do I have to yell at him, that I'm on his team, and could you stop hacking at my shins."

The Goaltending match-up of the anticipated Cabbage vs Gang Green took a two week hiatus from its previous scheduled date.  Cabbage had brought his luck rabbit's foot, a four leaf clover, a bowl of Luck Charms, and drank a gallon of  virgin Goats milk from Mount Kilimanjaro before the game.  Sounds of the post and crossbar were a plenty.  It seemed as though Cabbage wanted to toy with the opponent by luring them in to an open shot, and allowing them to disgracefully hit the bar. 

"I can barley see the ball as its being shot.  But I like to bounce around the crease like a frog trying to cross the street.  Its my Frogger style of goaltending.  To slowly make my way from post to post, I hop and jump like a frog dodging incoming traffic."  Cabbage Patch commented

Other highlights were a fireworks extravaganza intermission, with War Machine blasting death metal and shooting off bottle rockets.   "This is better than the Fourth of July" a glowing eyed AI remarked.

A1 redirected a shot of his bottom bottle testicles for an unbelievable goal.  A1 cried in pain, and laugh as his testes scored the goal of the year.  "Those testicles of yous A1 has a harder shot than your slapshot!"  A fan from the upper level shouted.

Waterford Hockey returns today at 7pm for the finale of the holiday double header.  Coldplay, Valentino, and Tyler plan to attend.  Make your RSVP early and come out to the Waterford Gardens for more holiday cheer and joy.