Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Where's my omelet Boytanio?
Hi,
This is Dan Greenoff for the Googily Gazette News, live from the Waterford Gardens.
Fall Intermission has concluded and hockey was back in Waterford. Games were played on Sat, and Sun with a terrific turnout.
As I walked around interviewing each participant in today's game, one question was repeated throughout. "Boytanio, Where's my Omelet?"
Absent from the weekend of hockey was star figure skater Brian Boytanio, we manage to set up some hidden cameras in his house and return with this segment take a look."
Interior Day.
Boytanio sees his alarm clock flashing 925am.
"I better get up and preparing the omelet station, for Sunday morning hockey" Boytanio announces
In his bed, a rather large man, who is draped around in one of Boytanio's figure skating costumes from his triumph run in the 88' games in Calgary. He has a shaven head, and is covered in a Vaseline base substance, something similar to what Mogilny's uses to masturbate with while watching his old highlights from his Buffalo days. He turns and looks at Boytanio.
"Oh, Baby you can't leave yet. I haven't receive my early morning Boytanio sugar yet."
Boytanio, realizing he is short on time tries to explain, he has made a promise of omelets to the Waterford faithful.
"I'm in a real rush right now, I have to get the onions, mushrooms, bell peppers, red pepper, and hot sauce from the grocery store. I made a promise to my guys that I would cook everyone omelets for Sunday morning hockey. It wouldn't be right if i was late."
The large bald man, rather annoyed by the remarks of Boytanio tries to convince him to stay a little longer.
"I don't care about those nasty hockey boys. I want my Boytanio to stay here in bed." The large Bald man replies
"But they are going to be so hungry if I don't set up my build your own omelet station?" Boytanio explains
"Well I want Boytanio to come over here and build his own omelet in bed with those magical hands of yours." the large Bald man giggles
Boytanio knowing he is short on time, can't resist the large bald man's charm, and runs over to the bed and twirls a triple axle in his arms. The two begin to fondle each other, and start to kiss affectionately in areas that can't be mention in this News program. The phone begins to ring, and the two ignore it as they tussle around in the bed. Boytanio's answer machine picks up and we hear a very familiar voice.
"Hey Boytanio, this is Arena. I wanted to just let you know that I pick up a few crabs here in Maryland. I'll be back in the morning, So I'll be waiting for my daily testes shinning. They have gotten a little dirty since I left you and could use a good spit and shine. Its not the same without you, I hope your being a good boy and I'll see yeah tomorrow. Kisses Bye"
The large Bald man, spits out a foreign object out of his mouth, and begins to scream at Boytanio.
"I thought I was the only man in your life. You lying whore! How could you do this to me? You know what I'm going to call him back and tell him what we've been doing all weekend. I'm sure he would like to know."
Hi, This is Dan Greenoff
We will conclude on this segment, as it just gets even more gayer from here on out. But BAG Monday hockey is tomorrow at 6pm so bring your shin guards and your favorite Emmem CD.
This is Dan Greenoff for the Googily Gazette News, live from the Waterford Gardens.
Fall Intermission has concluded and hockey was back in Waterford. Games were played on Sat, and Sun with a terrific turnout.
As I walked around interviewing each participant in today's game, one question was repeated throughout. "Boytanio, Where's my Omelet?"
Absent from the weekend of hockey was star figure skater Brian Boytanio, we manage to set up some hidden cameras in his house and return with this segment take a look."
Interior Day.
Boytanio sees his alarm clock flashing 925am.
"I better get up and preparing the omelet station, for Sunday morning hockey" Boytanio announces
In his bed, a rather large man, who is draped around in one of Boytanio's figure skating costumes from his triumph run in the 88' games in Calgary. He has a shaven head, and is covered in a Vaseline base substance, something similar to what Mogilny's uses to masturbate with while watching his old highlights from his Buffalo days. He turns and looks at Boytanio.
"Oh, Baby you can't leave yet. I haven't receive my early morning Boytanio sugar yet."
Boytanio, realizing he is short on time tries to explain, he has made a promise of omelets to the Waterford faithful.
"I'm in a real rush right now, I have to get the onions, mushrooms, bell peppers, red pepper, and hot sauce from the grocery store. I made a promise to my guys that I would cook everyone omelets for Sunday morning hockey. It wouldn't be right if i was late."
The large bald man, rather annoyed by the remarks of Boytanio tries to convince him to stay a little longer.
"I don't care about those nasty hockey boys. I want my Boytanio to stay here in bed." The large Bald man replies
"But they are going to be so hungry if I don't set up my build your own omelet station?" Boytanio explains
"Well I want Boytanio to come over here and build his own omelet in bed with those magical hands of yours." the large Bald man giggles
Boytanio knowing he is short on time, can't resist the large bald man's charm, and runs over to the bed and twirls a triple axle in his arms. The two begin to fondle each other, and start to kiss affectionately in areas that can't be mention in this News program. The phone begins to ring, and the two ignore it as they tussle around in the bed. Boytanio's answer machine picks up and we hear a very familiar voice.
"Hey Boytanio, this is Arena. I wanted to just let you know that I pick up a few crabs here in Maryland. I'll be back in the morning, So I'll be waiting for my daily testes shinning. They have gotten a little dirty since I left you and could use a good spit and shine. Its not the same without you, I hope your being a good boy and I'll see yeah tomorrow. Kisses Bye"
The large Bald man, spits out a foreign object out of his mouth, and begins to scream at Boytanio.
"I thought I was the only man in your life. You lying whore! How could you do this to me? You know what I'm going to call him back and tell him what we've been doing all weekend. I'm sure he would like to know."
Hi, This is Dan Greenoff
We will conclude on this segment, as it just gets even more gayer from here on out. But BAG Monday hockey is tomorrow at 6pm so bring your shin guards and your favorite Emmem CD.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Fall Intermission
Live from the Googily Media Center here is head news anchor Dan Greenoff
"Hello I'm Dan Greenoff for the the Googily Gazette News.
Due to severe weather and world series pandemonium, Hockey at the Waterford Gardens is suspended until further notice. When play resumes we'll keep you posted.
Other news is the important court case of Gang Green, who is schedule for this Tuesday. He is arrange for a Drunk Driving charges from late September. We will bring you the live press conference, after the judge's verdict.
Also Quad Skates is crowned the best Nickname in the history of Waterford Hockey. He edge out War Machine, Boytanio, and Humping Wall Machine for this prestigious honor. Once again Quad Skates you are proven testiment to mankind that inferior quad technology still has a place in the modern inline world.
In other news the Waterford Whalers suffered their season opener lost 11-5, and will host team Shop Rite on Wednesday night at the Voorhees Skate Zone at 10pm. Come out and support your hometown Whalers, more information can be found on their website at thedailywhaler.blogspot.com
I'm Dan Greenoff signing off from the Googily Media Center"
"Hello I'm Dan Greenoff for the the Googily Gazette News.
Due to severe weather and world series pandemonium, Hockey at the Waterford Gardens is suspended until further notice. When play resumes we'll keep you posted.
Other news is the important court case of Gang Green, who is schedule for this Tuesday. He is arrange for a Drunk Driving charges from late September. We will bring you the live press conference, after the judge's verdict.
Also Quad Skates is crowned the best Nickname in the history of Waterford Hockey. He edge out War Machine, Boytanio, and Humping Wall Machine for this prestigious honor. Once again Quad Skates you are proven testiment to mankind that inferior quad technology still has a place in the modern inline world.
In other news the Waterford Whalers suffered their season opener lost 11-5, and will host team Shop Rite on Wednesday night at the Voorhees Skate Zone at 10pm. Come out and support your hometown Whalers, more information can be found on their website at thedailywhaler.blogspot.com
I'm Dan Greenoff signing off from the Googily Media Center"
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