The icicles frozen to the Waterford Hockey rink, couldn't keep away the faithful in carloads of eager participants in the first annual "Chia Pet Porkchop Winter Classic Dance Party."
Temperatures were in the lower teens and at one point reach a meager 9 degrees. Game time attendance was at all time high with 20 skaters and 2 goalies to set a 2009 record.
Mr.Chop himself starting the event by bringing his Casio silver boom box, with 12 D size batteries. He pop in his mix tape, and the party had officially started.
His first dance, was to the tune of Rick James "Super Freak". He position the boom box in the middle of the center face off circle. He was procedding with a few toe tapping moves that would put the Lord of the Dance to shame.
PorkChop had the crowd in a frenzy when he attempted a double back flip split, over his Casio sliver boom box. As he was building up furious speed around his own blue-line, he tripped over a a phantom rock that has haunted previous Waterford Hockey players.
The Chop, landed face first before the third chorus of "Super Freak" had ended. He had to be carried off in a stretcher, he didn't have any movement in his upper Chop body. But he did manage to give a thumbs up to the crowd to show his gratitude.
So with 19 skaters, 2 goalies, and 1 boom box the nigh continue in the honor of a Mr. PorkChop.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Monday Night Hockey Shall Return
Hi this is Dan Greenoff, for the Googily Gazette
I would like to wish all readers a very heartfelt Christmas. And a happy boxing day to our neighbors to the north.
Yule time cheer has been at an all time low this past week. The cancellation of gamplay has brought diminishing morale throughout the Waterford Hockey Community.
It has affected some to the extent of utter physical pain and suffering.
Local Legend Brian Boytanio, has been under the weather with the H1N1 virus he caught while sulking his miseries without Waterford Hockey.
But early indications of resume gameplay might come by this Monday night. The Googily Weather Center has forecast mild temperatures and rain for Sat. This shall melt the remaining snow and ice left on the rink.
A clean up crew will emerge on Sun with shovels and push brooms to finish up mother nature's mess.
The third annual Waterford Winter Classic sponsor by Pet Chow, is still schedule for Jan 1 at 6pm. Unfortunately the Googily Weather Center has forecast rain and snow, which may cancel festivities.
Stay connected to the VSN network, for further updates.
I would like to wish all readers a very heartfelt Christmas. And a happy boxing day to our neighbors to the north.
Yule time cheer has been at an all time low this past week. The cancellation of gamplay has brought diminishing morale throughout the Waterford Hockey Community.
It has affected some to the extent of utter physical pain and suffering.
Local Legend Brian Boytanio, has been under the weather with the H1N1 virus he caught while sulking his miseries without Waterford Hockey.
But early indications of resume gameplay might come by this Monday night. The Googily Weather Center has forecast mild temperatures and rain for Sat. This shall melt the remaining snow and ice left on the rink.
A clean up crew will emerge on Sun with shovels and push brooms to finish up mother nature's mess.
The third annual Waterford Winter Classic sponsor by Pet Chow, is still schedule for Jan 1 at 6pm. Unfortunately the Googily Weather Center has forecast rain and snow, which may cancel festivities.
Stay connected to the VSN network, for further updates.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Winter Wonderland
The Googily Weather Center has issued a severe weather alert for Waterford Township. "A Monster Storm is heading up the East Coast tomorrow morning that will bring heavy amounts of snow. Early speculations are 10-13 inches of snow by Saturday night. Please be advise to stay indoors and watch classic Tannsboro Deck Hockey Championship videos from 1991."
League Commissioner has just released a statement about schedule matchups for this weekend. "Sat, and Sun hockey will be cancel for this week due to severe weather. Monday night hockey is still in question, we will keep a close eye on this winter storm to see if snow removal is possible by Monday Night. Head grounds keeper will not remove snow accumulations over 4 inches, unless a volunteer party participates in the snow removal effort. Stay connected to the Googily Gazette for any further details and updates."
If anyone wants to join Cowboy Evil Mogilny in a country western evening at Prospectors, he will be saddling up at 9pm in full cowboy outfit and spurs. It is just a treat to witness his herd of Wild Horses and mountainous background on a blue brokeback mountain long sleeve shirt. Yee-Haw Herr Evil!
League Commissioner has just released a statement about schedule matchups for this weekend. "Sat, and Sun hockey will be cancel for this week due to severe weather. Monday night hockey is still in question, we will keep a close eye on this winter storm to see if snow removal is possible by Monday Night. Head grounds keeper will not remove snow accumulations over 4 inches, unless a volunteer party participates in the snow removal effort. Stay connected to the Googily Gazette for any further details and updates."
If anyone wants to join Cowboy Evil Mogilny in a country western evening at Prospectors, he will be saddling up at 9pm in full cowboy outfit and spurs. It is just a treat to witness his herd of Wild Horses and mountainous background on a blue brokeback mountain long sleeve shirt. Yee-Haw Herr Evil!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Waterford Legend Porkchop returns
Some might call him a portly young lad. Others see an over weight blob of a human being. But to the Waterford faithful he is Porkchop.
It has been 3 years since the last re-appearance of Porkchop. He has now return to bring holiday cheer to all.
Come out tonight at 6pm. To be in the presence of such a man.
The Weekend schedule looks like a Sat game at 3pm. No Sunday night hockey this week.
It has been 3 years since the last re-appearance of Porkchop. He has now return to bring holiday cheer to all.
Come out tonight at 6pm. To be in the presence of such a man.
The Weekend schedule looks like a Sat game at 3pm. No Sunday night hockey this week.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
A Grounded Evil Mogilny scarfices a wild turkey to the Hockey Gods
"Hey Mom, I'm going to play hockey at Waterford." An Evil Mogilny proclaims
"Herr Evil, Your not going anywhere today. I've been asking you to take out the trash all week and you haven't done it yet. I told you to DVR me gossip girl, and you've instead hooked up the VCR and have been replaying old 90210 episodes instead. And now you've been using Grandma's old car, because you broke your IROC driving over a school of geese. So its no hockey for you young man." An angry mom replies
"Mom, I have to play today. I'm going to make a live sacrifice of a goat to the Hockey Gods." Evil Mogilny whines.
"Well, those herds of goats you've been keeping in the backyard are gone. I called PETA, yesterday and told them my Evil son has been making demonic sacrifices to uphold his god Sergei Zubov. Those goats are now protected by federal law, so no more sacrificing either." Mom answers.
A frustrated Evil Mogingy begins to jump up and down and scream at the top of his lungs.
"You can't do that. I'm 32 years old and your taking away my privileges as an adult. If I want to sacrifice a goat, I should have the right to do so. This isn't fair."
"Herr Evil, your living under my house, and your going to abide by my rules. Now finish up your chocolate milk and go to your room." Mom explains
Evil Moginly takes the gulp of his 44oz milk glass, and waddles back to his room. He slams the door behind him and jumps on his blue race car bed. His cellphone begins to ring, its the Chief Editor calling to play hockey.
"Herr Evil, You coming out today to reclaim your goaltender title in net." The Chief Editor asks
"No, I can't my mom, took away my car, my goats, and my dignity as a 32 year old man." Evil Mogilny murmurs.
"What!! Damn Herr Evil you really messed up this time." Said The Chief Editor
"Yeah, I was really looking forward to make a demonic sacrifice to the hockey gods today. But my goats are gone, so its not going to happen." Evil Moginly cries.
"Why don't you sneak out of your house, and will have Gang Green come pick you up. Don't worry about the goats, we'll think of something for you to sacrifice. " The Chief Editor explains.
Evil Moginly goes along with the plan, and climbs out of his bedroom window. Gang Green is awaiting outside, and the two drive away heading to Waterford Hockey Gardens.
Gang Green is playing some mellow, depressing music. "I can't live with out you girl. I want to throw my body off a cliff. If I can't live without you girl. I'll slit my wrists and bleed for you girl"
A displeased Evil Moginly comments on the melancholy music that is being played. "What is this crap, damn do you have any better music than this. I feel like I'm going to kill myself just listening to this garbage."
"Sorry, Evil Moginy if i like music that has some melodies. I don't listen to the Satan worshiping heavy metal junk. This has some true meaning behind the lyrics. " Gang Green replies
The music keeps on playing "I'll crawl up into a cannon, and shot myself in the stars. Your my glowing inspiration girl. I cant live without your smile. Girl.....Girl.....Girl.."
Evil Moginy reaches over and turns the music off. "For the love of Satan!"
Gang Green turns the music back on. "This is my car so your going to have to listen to my music Herr Evil!"
Evil Moginy turns it back off, Gang Green not paying attention to the road, begins to fight over the radio. The two wrestle each other, in a moving car. Evil Moginly and Gang Green are grabbing each others arms, trying to take over the control of the radio
"This is my Car" Gang Green grunts
"Well get some better music" Evil replies
As the two are fighting, a loud noise is heard.
"Gobble Gobble"
Gang Green's car hits a large turkey, that has wonder away from Pope's Garden.
Evil Moginly and Gang Green run out of the car, and see a mangled turkey crawling on the asphalt.
Gang Green is shocked. He looks at the turkey and turns to Evil Moginly
"Well, Evil Moginly it looks like we found you a half dead animal to sacrifice."
"Herr Evil, Your not going anywhere today. I've been asking you to take out the trash all week and you haven't done it yet. I told you to DVR me gossip girl, and you've instead hooked up the VCR and have been replaying old 90210 episodes instead. And now you've been using Grandma's old car, because you broke your IROC driving over a school of geese. So its no hockey for you young man." An angry mom replies
"Mom, I have to play today. I'm going to make a live sacrifice of a goat to the Hockey Gods." Evil Mogilny whines.
"Well, those herds of goats you've been keeping in the backyard are gone. I called PETA, yesterday and told them my Evil son has been making demonic sacrifices to uphold his god Sergei Zubov. Those goats are now protected by federal law, so no more sacrificing either." Mom answers.
A frustrated Evil Mogingy begins to jump up and down and scream at the top of his lungs.
"You can't do that. I'm 32 years old and your taking away my privileges as an adult. If I want to sacrifice a goat, I should have the right to do so. This isn't fair."
"Herr Evil, your living under my house, and your going to abide by my rules. Now finish up your chocolate milk and go to your room." Mom explains
Evil Moginly takes the gulp of his 44oz milk glass, and waddles back to his room. He slams the door behind him and jumps on his blue race car bed. His cellphone begins to ring, its the Chief Editor calling to play hockey.
"Herr Evil, You coming out today to reclaim your goaltender title in net." The Chief Editor asks
"No, I can't my mom, took away my car, my goats, and my dignity as a 32 year old man." Evil Mogilny murmurs.
"What!! Damn Herr Evil you really messed up this time." Said The Chief Editor
"Yeah, I was really looking forward to make a demonic sacrifice to the hockey gods today. But my goats are gone, so its not going to happen." Evil Moginly cries.
"Why don't you sneak out of your house, and will have Gang Green come pick you up. Don't worry about the goats, we'll think of something for you to sacrifice. " The Chief Editor explains.
Evil Moginly goes along with the plan, and climbs out of his bedroom window. Gang Green is awaiting outside, and the two drive away heading to Waterford Hockey Gardens.
Gang Green is playing some mellow, depressing music. "I can't live with out you girl. I want to throw my body off a cliff. If I can't live without you girl. I'll slit my wrists and bleed for you girl"
A displeased Evil Moginly comments on the melancholy music that is being played. "What is this crap, damn do you have any better music than this. I feel like I'm going to kill myself just listening to this garbage."
"Sorry, Evil Moginy if i like music that has some melodies. I don't listen to the Satan worshiping heavy metal junk. This has some true meaning behind the lyrics. " Gang Green replies
The music keeps on playing "I'll crawl up into a cannon, and shot myself in the stars. Your my glowing inspiration girl. I cant live without your smile. Girl.....Girl.....Girl.."
Evil Moginy reaches over and turns the music off. "For the love of Satan!"
Gang Green turns the music back on. "This is my car so your going to have to listen to my music Herr Evil!"
Evil Moginy turns it back off, Gang Green not paying attention to the road, begins to fight over the radio. The two wrestle each other, in a moving car. Evil Moginly and Gang Green are grabbing each others arms, trying to take over the control of the radio
"This is my Car" Gang Green grunts
"Well get some better music" Evil replies
As the two are fighting, a loud noise is heard.
"Gobble Gobble"
Gang Green's car hits a large turkey, that has wonder away from Pope's Garden.
Evil Moginly and Gang Green run out of the car, and see a mangled turkey crawling on the asphalt.
Gang Green is shocked. He looks at the turkey and turns to Evil Moginly
"Well, Evil Moginly it looks like we found you a half dead animal to sacrifice."
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