Montel Laser Light Show Ends in Police Chase

Live outside of the Waterford Township Municipal Building here is our reporter on the scene.

"Hi this is Dan Greenoff for the Googily Gazette News

A fun evening of hockey, and a Montel Laser Light Show turned to tragedy when a local man was arrested for a DUI.

It all started as a typical night of Monday hockey, with a full crowd of 16 skaters and 2 goalies. During the first intermission a treat to all spectators, a Montel Laser Light Show. A full spectrum of colorful lights painted the Waterford night sky. An even more pristine scene was the light snow fall which had added a white backdrop.

These Laser Lights were control by a sensitive laser machine, that produce colors and pictures from a Free-Electron Laser (FEL). It provides intense beams of laser light that can be tuned to a precise wavelength. Electrons are stripped from their atoms and whipped up to high energies by a linear accelerator. From there, they are steered into a wiggler, a device that uses magnetic fields to shake the electrons, forcing them to release some of their energy in the form of photons. This was all programed by Montel himself.

A rowdy disgruntle fan was outrage of the inaccurate laser light photons. He was causing a disruption by loudly shouting the following statement.
"Those photons are suppose to bounce between two mirrors and are then emitted as a coherent beam of light. But these photons are emitting light by increasing the energies of the electrons in the accelerator. What kind of bullshit light show is this!"

The gentlemen was told repeatedly to calm down, and to park his truck in the proper parking space. But he refused to corroborate and proceeded to drink and drive around the park.

Mogilny was in disbelief of what he saw "This guy shows up drunk, starts to scream about photons, than he backs up back and forth in his truck until he hits a fence. Like just sit down and enjoy the light show. Its only backyard hockey buddy."

Volunteer Firefighter Porkchop had enough of this belligerent stranger, and got on his CB radio and phoned in a drunk driver at the Waterford Gardens. The stranger continue to back up and forth, until he finally turned out of the Waterford Park Facility.

Sirens were heard as the stranger pulled out of the park, a cop immediately turned around and followed the Drunk Driver down the Old White Horse Pike. As the cop pulled the stranger over, he immediately made a run for it. He jumped out of his red "98 Ford F-250, and made a run for the woods. He made it about 4 meters before 5 cops trampled his drunken arrogance to the curb.

Monday Night hockey continue in spite of the mad police chase. It will go down as one of those nights "remember when that drunk guy showed up and totally bashed Montel's light show. Than his head was bashed into the ground in a crazy police pursuit."

Next schedule matchup will be Sat Jan 9 at 1pm. If anybody wants to play pond hockey contact the VSN headquarters. This is Dan Greenoff for the Googily Gazette news signing off.