Gang Goon

"I know Kung Fu, and i'm not afraid to use it on you, Ace."

  A Blues album release party that was suppose to unite both Gang Green and Ace went terribly wrong  Monday night. A bewildered Italian was very disappointed  "I don't understand these guys, I came to support both countries of  Canada and USA and instead I had to watch Gang Green wrestle Ace to the ground near the basketball courts.  I thought the Blues were suppose to bring people together."

It started where all modern day drama occurs on social media between Captain Canada Ace and American folk hero Gang Green. Not pleased with the percentage of players in the NHL being Canadian Gang Green express his discern. "I hate Canada and every person associated with that ice box of a country.  Right now, I say fuck them and deport every Canadian now.   I pay taxes, why should I let these Canucks live here."

Ace spokesman for all of the people of Canada, did the unthinkable, he brought up some facts about these hated Canadians.  "Gang Green do you understand, that if you deport all of these Canadians, the Flyers organization would be of bunch of Europeans.  Lets go to the roster of the current Canadians on the roster. Giroux, Simmons, Mason, Emery, both Schenn brothers, Hartnell, Read, LeCavalier,  Coburn, and MacDonald."

"I don't care we live in the greatest country in the world with a president that prolong my unemployment 7 years.  If, I was living any where else, I wouldn't be able to live my posh lifestyle of a modern car, high speed internet, and buying fire pits like a round of beers. If your going to live here Ace, don't be a traitor and root for Canada." Gang Green rebutted.. 

"I grew up in Canada and still have family there.  I don't see how rooting for Canada is such a problem.  Maybe if you got a job and did something with your life instead of trolling on kids half your age, you wouldn't be such a miserable person." Ace remarked

"Fuck you Ace, you don't know me.  I live on my own, and have been doing construction for the past 2 weeks.  Keep talking shit and i'm going to kick your ass." Gang Green replied.

Ace choose not to respond for awhile knowing he might of offended Gang Green, and like any respected Canadian felt remorse. Gang Green still recovering from his life time ban from the NY Rangers message board had a new enemy to loath.       

 "Ace, Elton John called and he is said you're a candle in the wind."
"Go ice fishing and watch Canadian Bacon."
"Justin Bieber said he wouldn't hang out with you either Ace."
"Ace where are you buddy? You can't handle the Gang Green heat."

  Ace did respond minutes later.  "I stopped responding because I have more important things to do with my life rather than to respond to someone of lesser value of my time"

Gang Green engulfed in rage, logged off his computer and made his first appearance to the Gardens since 2011. Teams were divided between the two captains Ace and Gang Green. 

Team Canada Ace vs USA Gang Green.  

Realizing his skating had deteriorated since his hey day in the late 90s, Gang Green took a page out of Mike Milbury's page of goon tactics.   With about 3 shifts under his belt in which he ate the pavement more often then he shot the ball, Gang Green went to the bench.  Words were exchange between the two on the bench and Gang Green's eyes grew of red flames. 

Charging like a general on a death march, Gang Green grab Ace from behind and wrestled him into the grass.  Gang Green had Ace in his deadly scissor leg lock, and the two were tangled for awhile.  Eventually played had been stopped, and the two still didn't move.  The faithful pleaded with Gang Green to let Ace go, but nothing.

RJ was getting frustrated will the prolong delay "Come on Gang Green, I want to play hockey.  This is not what Waterford Hockey stands for.  We didn't show up tonight, to watch you jump Ace on the bench."

Finally the Chief Editor broke the two apart and ejected Gang Green from the Gardens.  League officials made a statement about the incident.  "We're fully aware of the violent and goon like acts by Gang Green tonight.  Fighting a player not on the rink will not be tolerated.  We're scheduling an in person meeting with Gang Green and will discuss his future."

Rallying around their emotional ejected leader, team USA/Gang Green annihilate a frail Canadian Ace team in 5 games. Goalie for team Ace, Brother credited the wrestling match in the grass as the turning point in the series "When you watch your Captain get sexually molested by on older balder man, it is really difficult to play after that. I would compare it to watching OZ the HBO syndicated show about men getting rapped in prison. "

A scene from the HBO's acclaimed OZ

So what did we learn from this incident.  Well Gang Green is a crazy mo-fo that is for one.  Ace now has been apart of the two only fights at the Gardens.  Another is a war of words turns violent, joking around on social media turns Gang Green into a thug.   Now, Ace is recovering in the hospital in a full body cast.  Here is an animated representation of our battered Ace.

Hang in there Ace, you'll get through this.  We're all rooting for you. 

Brother the knowledgeable soft spoken but wise hockey goalie philosopher quoted his great mentor Plato to summed up this debacle.