The new Waterford Hockey schedule kicked off to a turbulent start, as the Chief Editor was rushed to the Emergency Room during the opening minutes of play last Sunday.
Attendance was staggering into
a morning skate after the Phillies lost Game 6 of the World Series. Gang
Green shed the Ollie Gators Pub with heartfelt tears, as his beloved baseball
team had let him down again. "I was sure we were going to win it
this year. I even was prepared to buy a round of fire pits to the
Faithful if we could pull it out."
A dejected Gang Green, Stilts
and the Chief Editor were about to leave the pub when a swinger’s couple came
in and eyed in on Gang Green’s veteran civil war like unkempt
beard.
"It's alright their buddy,
don't worry about the Phillies. They had a great season. It's all
about the Birds now. 8-0!" An older gentleman with a Retro Maroon Phillies
Cap commented from across the bar.
The women next to him who was
stumbling over her words with a Martini glass, sat down next to Stilts “Yeah
don’t look so down their buddy, it was a great season.”
“They just lost the World Series, I’m
going to need some time. At least I don’t
have to watch anymore John Fetterman Political ads. If I have to hear about him eating babies one more
time, I’m going to lose my shit.” Gang Green replied.
“You know what I would like to
eat, is that scrumptious wild beard you got there.” The tipsy woman next to Stilts
got up from her seat and approach the two and put her hands on Stilts back, and
she started to fondle Gang Green’s ear.
The Chief Editor sitting on the
other side of the two, made eye contact with Stilts as he had a frighten expression
of awkwardness.
“My husband over there is a piece
of shit…he doesn’t make love to me anymore. I would love to bring a burly man
like you home with me, and your friend over here too.” The intoxicated woman
started to rub her nose onto Gang Green’s ear, and gently massage Stilts' back.
“Guys we have Sunday morning hockey
tomorrow, so we better leave now.” A concerned Chief Editor remarked.
Gang Green jumped up and say, “Yeah
I have two hairless cats that need to be fed, or they start grow hair, so I got
to leave.”
Wednesday Night Hockey concluded until
the Spring, thanks to the WTAA and the Waterford Township Committee not giving
any reasonable time to the public. The
Waterford Faithful turned to the crumbs left over and decided to use Sunday
mornings as the times to gather.
A moderate crowd of 8 skaters
showed up and played with no goalies. Fundamental
Skate rules were instituted where each team must hit the left, right post, and
the crossbar to win a game. Shots had to
be in the air and outside of the goal crease, and no defender were allowed to
goaltend in the goal crease.
Teams were split up to 4-4 on
side, with no substitutes. Blue started the scoring by hitting the right post, and his team had one more post and crossbar
to the win the game. The Chief Editor
flying around the offensive zone was skating fast towards the bench area, and
Charlie trying to poke check the ball took out the Chief Editor’s skates who then went airborne head first. The momentum of the Chief
Editor's fall cut his left eye from his sunglasses and smashed his head into the
asphalt.
A pool of blood was pouring out the Chief Editor’s eye and he immediately skated off the rink to the $14 Walmart First Aid kit he bought a week before and starting to apply pressure to his wound.
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| Who needs the help of the Emergency Room, when you have the Walmart $14 First Aid Kit |
The Chief Editor returned to the rink and
told everyone he would be fine and to continue to play without him. Emily the only certified medical player,
looked at the Chief Editor’s eye and told him, you need to get that stitched up,
and offered to drive him to the Emergency Room.
The Chief Editor said he would be alright and wanted everyone to carry
on Sunday Fundy Hockey without him.
A wounded and bloody Chief Editor
pulled up to the local Emergency Room and had to wait 4 hours until he got
stitched up. There was so much blood
gushing out of his eyebrow, that the waiting room ran out of gauze. The nurse came in and started to admit the
Chief Editor and began to wait for the Emergency Room doctor to stitch up his
wound.
“So why didn’t you wear your
helmet?” Asked the Doctor.
“Well……. I left my helmet at
home.” A tired and disheartened Chief Editor answered.
“That’s not a good place for it.” The Doctor responded
“Thanks for the advice doc, I
could have used that tip 5 hours ago before I left my house today.” Retorted a
snarky Chief Editor
Eight stitches later the Chief
Editor left the ER, and Sunday Fundy had concluded. Team doctors looked over the Chief Editor
this week and he is experiencing concussion like symptoms and will be sidelined on
the Injury Reserve indefinitely.
It is now up to the Waterford
Faithful to take over Waterford Hockey for the time being, until the Chief
Editor heals from his injuries. No
timetable of when or if the Chief Editor will ever make a return to Waterford
Hockey.
