Wet Hot. The All American Goaltender

"Wet Hot...Wet Hot...Wet Hot....Wet Hot....Wet Hot...." were the thunderous chants from the Waterford Hockey bleachers last night.

Dave Lang, (scene in the photo above kissing a bag of Synder's of Hanover Mini Pretzels) debut his first game in net.  He had some precautionary words, for his fellow teammates before the game.

"Guys, I just want to tell everyone that I'm having a hard time catching things in my glove.  So I'm going to use my catching glove as an additional blocker.  Be prepare for rebounds going to my right side of the net, as I'm having a difficult time catching balls.  Also the chest and arm protectors, are really small so if you hear me yell at the top of my lungs, it means that I was hit in an unprotected area.  I have only one request. 

That you douse me with water, every time I make a save.  You see I spit fire.  And when a shot hits me, I have a fire convulsion that erupts out of my mouth.  So if you see my American Bandanna on fire.  Its ok.  Just use the water bucket to tame it out." 

Wet Hot.  The All American Goaltender showcased a clinic on goaltending last night.  His reactions were quick, his positioning was correct, his rebounds went into the far right corner, and his opponent had only the sky to look up at in shame.

Robo was baffled at the quality of Wet Hot.  The All American Goaltender.
"Every time I get a scoring opportunity, my internal circuitry goes haywire.  Even with my new NASA approved anti-gravity skates, nothing is working properly.  Its like Wet Hot, has an superior force-field hovering around his goalie crease."

The opponents were so frustrated, that A1 Steak Sauce tipped over and cause a massive Steak Sauce spill, that could be detected by NASA Satellite photos. 

The fans covered in A-1 steak sauce, chanted "Wet Hot...Wet Hot..Wet Hot...Wet Hot...Wet Hot....Wet Hot...Wet Hot...Wet Hot... Wet Hot..."

A new Goaltender legend has emerged.  

Master P Goodbye Party Mon April 12, 2pm-?

Location: Mogilny Playhouse
320 East Weymouth rd, Buena, NJ 08310

This is your last chance to party with the Master P.  

Its very hard to say goodbye to a person that has given Waterford Hockey so much.  From his early Clone War days with George, to his Car Arena basketball games, or his Cocoa Puffs war with Bauer Stick Model number#38104.

Master P's caravan is leaving on Tues April 13, so this will be his last day ever in New Jersey.

His home planet Kruger Xion 12, has a assignment for Master P to harvest the Northern California forest in search of fertile cocoa puff soil.  

So to commemorate such a solider in the Waterford Faithful Brigade Regiment, Monday April 12, at the Mogilny playhouse in Buena, we will celebrate the Master P's honor with free food, free alcoholic drinks, wiffle ball, scuba diving, beach volleyball, Sega Game Gear Games, Live Entertainment, Botchie Ball, Horseback riding,  Fireworks, Laser Tag, Watermelon Eating Contest, A punch bowl of Cocoa Puffs, and a freestyle Rap battle between Master P and Gang Green.

Monday April 12 at 2pm-to the break of dawn, or whenever Master P's caravan beams him up.

Gang Green Dominates the World

In the second game, of the Waterford Home and Home series this week, Gang Green took the lone spotlight with his spectacular performance.  He faced 67 shots while only giving up 5 goals in his heroic effort.  His signature save of the night was a dramatic toe save on Montel's breakaway.

Montel took a breakout pass from Mr.Robo, and deke Chip Douglass out of his skates on defense.  It was just Gang Green who stood in the way of a highlight reel Montel goal.  The ball was dragged off the rugged Waterford Hockey surface onto Montel's blade.  He move left, than right.  Gang Green was flopping around trying to determine which way Montel was going.  Finally the ball was flipped off of Montel's skate and batted in mid-air.  Gang Green turned in the wrong direction, kicked his legs in the air, and deflected the ball with his toe.

The Waterford Crowd went into a frenzy, screaming and throwing free banana bread vouchers onto the playing surface. 

Gene(new Waterford Icon) had a very interesting perspective about the save.
 "I had a hard time coming back on defense to help-out my goaltender Gang Green.  You see I've been going through a wheel crisis at the moment, and only have one wheel on each skate.  Its tough times for Gene, nobody wants to hire a middle age Vietnam Vet, that has a liking to humping fridges.  What went wrong in this country that a grown man, can't hump a large cooling electrical machine.  Its the only thing that keeps me going anymore.  Now can you excuse me, I have to put mud on my ass."

Waterford Faithful Brigade will take its show on the road Sat evening in Berlin at 7pm.  For further details please call A1 Steak Sauce.