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| Quad Skates celebrating with his buddy Pickachu |
"Where the hell is everybody? We were supposed to leave for Sea Isle at 10am, and its just the two of us" The Chief Editor proclaims.
"This is fucking bullshit! I turned down Black Friday Shopping, so I could be properly rested for this crap. Fucking people!" Gang Green angrily responded.
10:29am The Chief Editor decides to check Facebook. "Tyler wrote on his wall, he is so bored that he wishes he was working." He was supposed to come to Sea Isle with us today.
10:31am Gang Green opens a cold Lionshead brew and hands one to the Chief Editor. "Well, if weren't going to the Sea Isle, we might as well get wasted."
10:34am The Chief Editor receives a call from A1 Steak Sauce. "Hey where are you guys, I just pulled up." asks Steak Sauce.
"Get out of your car and you'll see two dejected dudes, lying against the boards." The Chief Editor replies.
10:37am A bewildered Steak Sauce, is in dismay to see only The Chief Editor and Gang Green. "Is anybody else showing up?"
"Quads is on his way, and that is probably it" The Chief Editor sadly remarks.
10:39am A vehicle pulls up to the Waterford Gardens. It is not an ordinary transporting automotive. Glistening in the early morning sunlight, is a baby blue mini-van. With great trunk space, enormous comfortable seating for 4 passengers, and automatic sliding doors. The hockey Gods constructed such a magnificent piece of automotive engineering to be used exclusively for hockey transportation. This is the Honda Quadysee.
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| The Quadysee |
10:38am The driver of the mini-van Quad Skates jumps out of his luxurious Quadyseee. "Is this it? Fuck it, I say we pack the Quadysee and drive around to find a pick-up game."
10:40am A1 Steak Sauce unsure of this idea, motions to pack up and leave the Waterford Gardens. "Steak Sauce you can park your car at your house and we'll pick you up." asks the Chief editor
"I don't know, I think I want to go home and pour myself on a nice porter house steak." A1 replies.
10:42am The Chief Editor was cautious about A1's intentions of playing "I don't want another Buzz Killington on our hands. Last time, we went somewhere to play hockey and the other person was unsure of coming, we were victimized with a Buzz kill. Or as the kids call it a Brosef Stalin."
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| Don't be a Brosef Stalin |
10:50am Joey pulls up to an empty Waterford Gardens.
10:51am The Chief Editor gets a call from Joey. "So what's going on?"
10:52am Quads, Gang Green, and The Chief Editor pulled up behind Joey parked at the Waterford Gardens.
10:53am "Do you want to ride along with us? We're going on a traveling adventure looking for any kind of hockey game." The Chief Editor replies.
"Ok, where are you guys?" Joey responds
"Look, behind you." The Chief Editor comments.
10:54am Joey turns around and see's the Quadysee parked 12 meters behind his car. "Where, did you guys come from?"
10:56am Joey drops his car off at The Chief Editor's residence. He throws his equipment in the back of the Quadysee. "Let's go pick up the Steak Sauce!" Quads commands
11:03am Steak Sauce has just poured a nice portion of himself on some sizzling beef patties. Quads honks the horn, "Come on A1, were ready to go!" Steak Sauce, tips himself back up. He twirls his cap 4 times, and then waddles out of his house with his small black Koho hockey bag. The Quadysee is at full capacity and the trunk looks like this.
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| Somewhere in there is a leaf blower |
11:09am The traveling Quadysee makes it first stop at the Berlin hockey rink on Day Ave. A deserted hockey rink, with no souls to be seen. "Nobody in the slums of Berlin, I guess even the Ghetto gets a day off." The Chef Editor remarks. So onto the second stop.
11:11am Gang Green farts
11:14am "Let's try the Marlton Rinks, there has to be people. Its three rinks, its Black Friday, and its 62 degrees with no clouds in the sky. Somewhere in South Jersey somebody is playing hockey." Quads comments.
The Chief Editor begins to sniffle the air. "Gang Green did you just fart again?"
"Ugh...I shouldn't of chugged those Lionsheads. Beer makes me gassy in the morning." Gang Green moaned.
11:22am The Qadysee pulls into the Marlton rinks. On each rink, people are playing. One of the rinks, just has guys playing on feet, the other has some little kids skating around. But the one rink has some older kids skating and shooting.
11:24am Chief Editor approaches the rink with the skaters and talks to a red haired kid. "Hey, do you guys want to get a game together? We have a goalie, ask those foot soldiers to play on the other rink and we could get a decent game going."
The red haired kid replies "Yeah, lets do it."
11:26am The Waterford Faithful of Joey, Gang Green, Quads, The Chief Editor, and Steak Sauce step onto the Marlton rink. They immediately claim the title of "Team Quadysee" as their official slogan.
11:29am Quads hooks up his boom box, with his Satellite Radio attached. "You guys ready for some 80s new wave!" The booming vocals of Frankie Gos to Hollywood, engulf the Marlton Square Gardens.
11:31am Quads offers some gifts of gratitude."Hey, If any of you guys are of age, we brought some beers with us. Plus I got a mini- keg of Newcastle in van if you want."
Gang Green also offers some of his gassy Lionshead to anyone, that can withstand its gaseous affects.
The red haired kid abides, "That's really cool of you guys, to bring beer. That's what I wanted to do today, sip some buds and play some hockey."
11:33am Quad's suits up with his blue customize Quads jersey, roller hockey pants, his trusty quad skates, and a Pirate Bandanna to complete his outfit.
11:35am The red haired kid, notices Quad's old school roller skates. "Whoa, That guy with the pirate bandanna, is using quad skates."
11:37am A1 Steak Sauce also shows his gratitude by allowing anybody to use him as a delicious condiment.
The red haired kid, in awe of the kindness showed by the Waterford Faithful, shows his appreciation. "You guys are the coolest people that have ever showed up at this rink. We got tunes, buds, Pirates with roller skates, and a life size A1 steak sauce bottle. What else could a red haired kid like me want."
11:41am A second goalie shows up and Team Quadysee now has a opponent to challenge. Bring it on Marlton locals!
11:48am Opening faceoff begins. The Marlton locals, used to running game at the rink, is not aware of the talent of Team Quadysee.
11:50am Joey roofs his third goal of the afternoon.
11:52am Steak Sauce scores on a break-away.
11:59am Gang Green makes a sprawling glove save.
12:01pm "Oh, shit. Dj Fatty is on. Let me change it to the old school hip channel" Quads hurries to change the station on his Satellite radio.
12:09pm Team Marlton begins to show frustration, by slamming their sticks in agony. "How the hell, I'm I getting beat by on old man dressed as a Pirate, with skates that are older than the Regan Administration."
12:16pm The Chief Editor lets loose a blistering wrist shot that beats their opposing goalie.
12:23pm Joey stick-handles through the entire Marlton team, and scores his 12th goal of the afternoon.
12:35pm Quads still snake beaten, is stoned on a point blank wrist shot.
12:41pm Gang Green lets in his first goal of the afternoon, on an odd man rush.
12:48pm Team Quadysee ahead 17-1, the Marlton locals begin to show more frustration, by breaking their $200 sticks against the boards.
1:00pm The Marlton Locals call it a quits, but more people begin to show, as Team Quadysee has a new foe to challenge. A few kids from Wagner University show up and are unaware of the beating they are about to take.
1:04pm Quads breaks out of his scoring slump, by scoring on a 5-hole goal.
1:09pm Steak Sauce dangles team Wagner and scores untouched on a break-away.
1:12pm Quads scores again.
1:15pm Gang Green bored from the lack of activity in his net, begins to shake his booty from the old school hip-hop beats.
1:21pm Joey roofs another shot top-shelf for his league leading 32nd goal of the afternoon.
1:26pm Team Wagner takes a break.
1:32pm Quads shuffles to some Run DMC played during intermission.
1:38pm Keeping his legs loose from his intermission shuffling, Quads scores a quick 2 goals.
1:41pm The Chief Editor begins to show fatigue and contemplates on whether to end the game.
1:57pm Team Wagner embarrassed from the ass whopping decides to throw in the towel and end the massacre.
2:06pm Gang Green releases some urine in the Marlton woods.
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| "Ahh......That feels good. Now, if I could only get rid of my gas." |
2:10pm Team Quadysee relaxes in the Marlton bench, finishes off Quad's Newcastle mini-keg.
2:14pm Gang Green takes a swig of the Newcastle.
2:19pm Gang Green again runs into the woods to release his urine.
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| This feels sooooooooo good |
2:30pm Its time to say goodbye to the Marlton rink, empty and alone.
2:49pm Steak Sauce is dropped off at his house, "Oh, shit I forgot about my burgers!" Steak Sauce runs out of the Quadysee to attend to his charbroiled beef patties.
3:01pm Gang Green, Joey, and the Chief Editor are dropped off back at home base. The three walk to their cars and begin to drive to the Post Game Party at Devilins.
3:21pm A bucket of buds.
3:41pm Gang Green perpetuates his gas, by eating a Fat Philly Cheese steak, cheese fries,a Quesadilla, and bowl of Atomic Chili.
3:49pm Customers at Devilns begin to run out of the bar, from the large gas cloud, caused by Gang Green's bloatedness eating habits.
4:00 The manager at Devilins asks Gang Green to take his farting cloud elsewhere.
4:05 Quads and The Chief Editor decided to leave as well, as the fumes from Gang Green's ass start to make them uneasy.
Not a good ending to the Greatest Day Ever, but wait the end cap of the day was a party at the Tropicana in Atlantic City with "The Collins." Here is a picture that summarizes the dance party at the Irish Pub. Due to poor lighting, you might not be able to make it out. The bald guy dancing has the World's largest turtle neck.
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| No need to pop a collar, when you have the World's largest turtle neck. |
Sea Isle the Thanksgiving aftermath, didn't happen that warm Black Friday morning. But, for a few, who hitched a ride in the Honda Quadysee, it was The Greatest Day Ever.
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