Instead of playing soccer on a normal soccer field, these Bags have chosen to ingest human growth hormones, and get a pick up game of soccer on our hockey rink. Our penalty box, is transformed into a DJ booth playing power 99 hot jams. Fist pumps are a plenty when goals are scored, and high testosterone of punching and screaming are heard on a cold weekday night.
Anti-Bag activist Stilts wasn't too pleased to hear of this outrageous Bag attack on the Waterford Gardens "Those dirty Bags. First they invade Waterford Hockey, then they ruin my Wednesday nights at Sizzler, and now they destroy the Waterford Gardens with their bicycle kicks. Those inconsiderate Bags!"
To make matters worse, the Waterford Hockey Youth program has been threaten by vicious Bag attacks. On a night just like any normal weekday, the Bags attacked the Italian and company with their verbal threats and physically kicked out the Waterford youth. The Soccer Bags took control of the Waterford Gardens, while the Italian and company looked from afar without a place to play hockey.
Carter one of the Waterford Hockey Youths, scared and confused, by the amount of Bags screaming and yelling about sexual activities with his Mom wet his own pants. A soaked Carter called 911 and reported the Bags of their juvenile acts.
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| A pictorial drawing of Carter's wet pants |
One of the Waterford Township Police officers came to bring peace to the situation. But, like usual our Waterford finest had a unorthodox solution. "Right now, I'm going to shut down this rink. Nobody is allowed to play. You hockey players have to share the rink, with these soccer Bags. This is a hockey rink, and it is also a fully functionally asphalt soccer field. Ok, I'm getting an emergency on my radio. Apparently there are fresh donuts being put out at Dunkin Donuts. Bye!"
The Italian and his army were left without a solution, and were bullied off the Waterford Gardens.
Evil Mogilny hearing of the soccer bags and their destruction of the rink, brought his tools and a sacrificial animal to the middle of the face-off circle. "Oh, my God Satan. I've given you a live chicken, to protect our Waterford Gardens from these vicious soccer Bags. Now, shed this blood as a river of fortitude to our Waterford faithful. Be not afraid my children, let the storm wash away the blood."
The Italian wondering what Evil Mogilny is performing intervenes the ceremony. "Ah.... Evil Mogilny what are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing." Evil Moginy remarks
"You have a drill in one of your hands, and a Kentucky Fried Chicken Bucket in the other. Are you going to finish fixing the boards or are you going to mumble a bunch of gibberish."the Italian replies
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| Evil Mogilny's sacrificial chicken |
"Yeah, just hold that board over there, and the boards will be good as new. Now if I ever see another person playing soccer on this hockey rink, they will face the wrath of Herr Evil Mogilny and his army of Mummies. Mu wa wa wa ha ahaha ahaha" Evil Mogilny makes an evil laugh
Waterford Hockey returns this Thursday or Wednesday pending weather. Those are the only days of the week, I will be attending, but contact the Italian for any other game dates. Do not contact AI, as he has given up his duty of Waterford Hockey organizer.
Viva La Italian!
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