A group of teenage skaters whom frequent the park, were gathering their skateboards, and were about to roll off to the 7/11 to get a Raspberry Lemon Lime Slurpee and skittles. "Dude, let's bounce this joint. I'm getting thirsty and there is no new skater blood here."
"Yea, this is uber lame." one of the skaters agrees. The teenager skaters leave the park, as Father Pat looks from a far from his green Toyota Echo. "This is my chance, to practice by myself, and not be bullied by a bunch of punk kids." Father murmurs to himself.
With a deserted skate park, Father Pat practice his hand plants, the twirly bird, and the infamous Father Sunday. The Father Sunday was a move, that was banded from competitive aggressive inline skating competitions. It was deemed too dangerous and many skaters lost their lives just trying to attempt the move.
But, Father Pat was enjoying his serenity of skating by himself and practicing his outlawed moves. The grind of competing at the Waterford Gardens, was taking a toll on Father Pat. He, was leading the league in penalty minutes, and was tired of the physicality he had to bring each game. This is what he really wanted in life. To be a fruity booty. He already signed the waiver of his bias sexuality as an inline skater. (A little unknown fact, is that in order to be an inline skater, you have to sign away you're heterosexuality, and admit your homosexuality.)
Things were going great for Father Pat, the sun was hitting against his bare thighs, his hair was radiant in the summer breeze, and his soul had reach the greatest level of enlightenment. As Father, planted a hand stand on the half pipe, he heard the sounds of juveniles.
"Nice, shorts there homo." One of the teenagers shouted. The group of skaters that were previously hanging out at the skate park had return with large Big Gulp Cups and bags of jiggly candy.
"Hey, I didn't know priests were publicly allow to admit they were gay." Another kid heckled.
"Yeah, you should never of signed that waver, Father." One of the other teenagers commented.
Father nervous and unsure how to handle the situation, decided to show off his great inline skating attributes. "Kids, you want to see something really cool?" he asked
"No, we don't want to see you're ball sack. Plus with those shorts, we already have a very bogus view." One of the punk skaters replies.
"I knew, I shouldn't of signed that waver. But, to be an inline skater, you have to fully embrace the alternative lifestyle. Well, kids I know it hasn't been cool since 1994 to skate on in-lines. But, I'll show you the greatest and most dangerous move a skater can pull off. Created by my mentor Father Pedro, on a hot summer afternoon in the New Mexico desert, this move will knock your socks off. It has only been master twice in its existence. This will show you, that inline skating can be cool. Get ready for the Father Sunday."
Father Pat skates to the top of the half pipe, the teenage kids look in awe at what will be the greatest moment of their lives. Father channels his inner peace, and fully becomes one with his in-lines. What, they will witness can't be fully describe in words, it is something like a bald Eagle soaring in the wilderness. A majestic water flowing freely from a gigantic waterfall. The gushing colors of a vibrant rainbow beaming in the horizon. Simply put, this is the Father Sunday.
Father still at the very top of the half pipe, skates down in a tumbling free fall. His hands brace his fall, and his skin immediately rips from the uncontrollable carnage. Father Pat made it about 3 inches down the half pipe, before his 4th line skating abilities took over.
"I can't watch it no more." A crying skater skates away.
After a visit to the doctors office, Father Pat was diagnosed with a broken wrist and a 4 to 6 weeks vacation to the Injury Reserve.
sigh
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